Cuchulain: A Magician?
Today, I selected 100 men to become students in my Academy of Ancient Teachings. I decided to divide the evaluation into three categories: alchemy, healing, and magic. If a man succeeded in at least one category, he could become one of my students. If he failed, he would have to wait four more years until the next openings for evaluation. When Cuchulain first walked in, I instantly predicted his failure, because he seemed like an impulsive warrior type, and my academy focuses on magic and healing. Instead, he demonstrated powerful magical abilities that brought his doubters to shame. In the first test, I evaluated the participants on their alchemy skills. We gave each man a piece of chalk, lead, and an alchemy book, which illustrated many magical circles and instructions on how to use them. If they could turn lead into gold, they passed. When I gave Cuchulain these items, he turned to a random page in the book without even bothering to look at the table of contents or page title! Instead of drawing a transmutation circle for turning lead into gold, he drew a summoning circle that summoned a butchy, muscular female giant! The angry giant threatened to kill us all for interrupting her date with her girlfriend. Suddenly, before she could take a step toward the competitors, Cuchulain literally ripped her to pieces like a bloodthirsty demon! With the giant’s body parts and blood scattered all over the room, Cuchulain failed the test, but at least he slew one of those pesky giants. The second test allowed the men to show off their healing skills. I gave each participant 50 types of herbs and a dying slave. To pass, they must use the correct herbs to cure the slaves, who each had about an hour of life left if left untreated. If the slave died, they failed. I gave Cuchulain one of my slaves, Adam, who had a major snakebite on his chest. Thinking he could cure Adam by feeding him everything, he forced every herb down his throat!