Effects Of Divorce On Children

While divorce is never a happy moment in an adult's life, the psychological effects of divorce on children can become very damaging. Divorce can be a profound catalyst for psychological, social, and economic change. A lot of parents' do not fully understand how much their divorce can almost ruin their child's life, especially their adulthood. Divorce deeply affects everyone involved, especially children. It is extremely vital that every parent going through a divorce be aware of the consequences their divorce can have have on their children.
The greatest focus of divorce's effect on children has been on the weeks, months, and the first few years following the divorce. Every year, over one million children in the United States are faced with the reality of their parents divorcing. Statistically, a couple's marriage lasts about 7.2 years prior to divorcing and there are about 1,250,000 divorces per year in the United States. 2 of 5 children will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach the age of 18. About 25 percent of all children will spend some time in a step family.
I have come to find out that there are many different phases when it comes to divorce which makes it even more complex. The divorcing couple, as well as the entire family, experiences a variety of abrupt changes which impacts nearly
every aspect of their lives. The emotional divorce centers around the problem of the deteriorating marriage and it usually takes place over a period of time, which varies from couple to couple. The positive feelings of love and affection are displaced by increasing feelings of anger, frustration, hurt, resentment, dislike, or hatred, and the perception that the positive feelings are gone forever.
Then you have the legal divorce which is based on the grounds for the divorce and where one or both divorcing spouses state why the other is at fault. This process involves the legal documentation that the couple is no longer married to each other. The economic divorce deals with the money and property and is usually the most volatile phase of divorce. When it comes to dividing material goods that was made during the marriage, emotions usually run high.
The co-parental divorce deals with custody, single parent homes, and visitation which can also be a very emotional part of the divorcing process. Most custody decisions are made on a case by case basis and the child or children are placed with the parent deemed capable of providing the overall best environment for them. Sometimes, the court awards joint custody where both parents have more or less equal responsibility in the raising of their children. This phase of divorce can always get a little tricky at times.
When it comes to the community divorce it involves the changes of friends and community that every divorcing person experiences being that married couples tend to socialize with other married couples. Once they become divorced they no longer fit comfortably in the couples' environment. Lastly, the psychic divorce manifests the problem of regaining individual autonomy which means that the two adults that are divorcing have to adjust to now living alone. They both can lose part of their identity that was established being married.
A child's perception of divorce can be largely determined by age and gender, as well as the child's history of stress and coping. There are different prominent risk factors when it comes to the children of divorced parents and gender is one of the them. Boys tend to be more at risk being that mothers are usually awarded custody more often than fathers so the absence of a male role model makes it more difficult for boys to adjust to the divorce. When it comes to the age of the child or children, the younger they are the less likely they are able to make sense of all the changes whereas adolescent children are more at risk over the long term.
The greater the conflict between the parents, the greater the risk for children to experience emotional turmoil. If problems with the parent-child relationships existed before divorce, those problems may become worse following the divorce. The most a child is part of the parental conflict, the most confusion, frustration, anger, and loyalty conflicts he or she is likely to experience. Unless extra care is taken by both parents to nurture the relationship between parent and child, that child may feel a loss or even abandonment.
There are many different short term effects that divorce can have on children.
Personality characteristics of the child and the ability to develop coping skills is one of them. The ability of the child to find and use their support systems is another. Children tend to have a lot of build up aggression after dealing with their parents divorce. Some of these effects emerge rapidly and some of them increase over the first few years following divorce and then decline. Sometimes, children can recover quickly but that is usually because of denied feelings so then later on those feelings towards their parents divorce emerge at some point in their
life.
There are even more long term effects on the children after divorce. Some emotional long term effects they have are fears of betrayal, abandonment, loss, and rejection. Most of the time they end up very depressed in their adulthood. Feelings and memories about their parents divorce arise with new intensity as they enter adulthood. They feel like they are just not satisfied with life and tend to have problems with anger, resentment, and hold a lot of hostility. Physically, they usually have poorer physical health than children from intact families.
Socially, some long term effects are the reduction in the ability to develop and maintain supportive friendships and dating relationships. They usually end up having sexual intercourse at an earlier age than most. Having the fear of repeating his or her parents failure to maintain a loving relationship and having that fear of commitment and intimacy. They also have less trust in their future spouses. Children of divorce are most likely themselves to divorce as adults as well.