Forgiveness and Symbiotic Ecstasy Ignorance

STAG:

The enchanting music drives these young souls to stand,
The ideal atmosphere of the night
Sparks their eyes with engagement and mutual modesty
The reaching beat travels through their ears and courses towards their hearts.
Gentle as though there was something fragile separating them,
All so afraid that it might break.
Yet in their obvious thoughts,
They yearned for that rapture.
Steadily,
Opposing silhouettes grip,
Face to face,
Eyes on eyes,
As though the rest of world disappeared.
Twos become ones.

Enchanting music to them,
A cursed ritual to me.
Incomplete,
A pariah
Seemingly unfit to be coupled,
Excommunicated for some blasphemy I never intended.
Then condemned as a soul of solitude and envy.
Reaching out to a rightful place.
Amongst graceful angels.
Who enfold themselves in arms
Of their chosen partners
Enjoying their confined heaven against each otherís grasps
Yes instead, I am sustained
Stationary amongst the same places,
From which that crowd left me in shivers.
Atoning in a purgatory,
I denied I deserved.
As my inner pleads told me of
How I envied their pride,
Their evening smiles, laughs
And their other halves.

Their fairy tale dreams
Dragged out from their own books of auto-biographies.
Each of which had inked happy endings. ìThey lived happily ever afterî
Ludicrous!
ìAllî was never there.
And Ever after?
What mere fiction to make children sleep.

I despised my own presence,
Yet I wouldnít have forgiven my absence.
I loathed a fairy-god mother,
She never came,
Never waved her wand,
She never existed.
And how fond would I be when the hands of fate struck twelve.

The prolonged music, digging its way deep into my conscience.
Play, just play the music
Lyrics speak to me of new-found love,
Spoke of delightful ironies,
But insult me with uncanny indifference.
Embrace!
Enjoy the symbiotic ecstasy
Ignorance be yours,
Selfishness is mine.

Dread, Envy, Self-deprecation