Graduation Speech: Congrats Freshman Girls
Congrats Freshman Girls. You are like super cool. You’ve made it to the big leagues. You are no longer in the hell-hole of middle school. Now make-up doesn’t make you look weird. And it’s fine to talk to boys and tell your mom about them. If you actually told your mom anything, but High Schoolers don’t do that. But you are still worried about how to be the coolest and the most popular person here. Here's a guide to help you attract attention and become the best most popular coolest person in the school:
Scream. As a young girl you have the vocal chords of a whale. Loud and fucking annoying. So girl use those gifts. Whenever you get an emotion, happy, sad, mad whatever scream. Shriek like a crow. Make sure everyone hears your infant-like squarks. …show more content…
Much like the previous step, make sure you are always in a group. This shows dominance and will make you more likeable in a highschool setting. You should be like the alpha wolf, they never travel without their pack of sad desperate bitches. That’s it now that really makes me enjoy your presence.
Wear as much makeup as possible. The basic rule for this is there is no such thing as too much makeup. Make people question if you are a drag queen or if you are a troll hiding itself under pounds of concealer, purple eyeshadow and glittery everything. Now you’re lookin good.
Wear as much perfume as possible. This attracts attention. Now that your face is covering the ugly that you are you need something more to attract attention. You have sight, you have sound, now smell. Douse yourself in as much of the smelliest stuff as possible. If that isn’t strong enough find a large garage can and just sit in that for a few hours. Nothing says I’m a cool high school student as the stench of perfume. Or your natural smell of desperation.
With these steps you will fit right in in high school. No need to thank me, I just want to help you out. So remember this is a guide to showing explaining how to be the best in high school. It you follow these steps you will become the most loved person in the whole entire
Scream. As a young girl you have the vocal chords of a whale. Loud and fucking annoying. So girl use those gifts. Whenever you get an emotion, happy, sad, mad whatever scream. Shriek like a crow. Make sure everyone hears your infant-like squarks. …show more content…
Much like the previous step, make sure you are always in a group. This shows dominance and will make you more likeable in a highschool setting. You should be like the alpha wolf, they never travel without their pack of sad desperate bitches. That’s it now that really makes me enjoy your presence.
Wear as much makeup as possible. The basic rule for this is there is no such thing as too much makeup. Make people question if you are a drag queen or if you are a troll hiding itself under pounds of concealer, purple eyeshadow and glittery everything. Now you’re lookin good.
Wear as much perfume as possible. This attracts attention. Now that your face is covering the ugly that you are you need something more to attract attention. You have sight, you have sound, now smell. Douse yourself in as much of the smelliest stuff as possible. If that isn’t strong enough find a large garage can and just sit in that for a few hours. Nothing says I’m a cool high school student as the stench of perfume. Or your natural smell of desperation.
With these steps you will fit right in in high school. No need to thank me, I just want to help you out. So remember this is a guide to showing explaining how to be the best in high school. It you follow these steps you will become the most loved person in the whole entire