Is Flirting the Same as Sexual Harassment

Is Flirting the Same as Sexual Harassment
Critical Thinking 1760
Jue Hou
210625481
Professor Anthony Falikowski
2012/11/6
Word Count: 1226

Step 1: Model Case A sixty year old librarian trying to flirt with a young girl in the library by telling a sex joke when she is borrowing a book. The action annoys the girl a lot and she tries to leave the library as quick as she can. But the librarian stops the girl to flirt with her again by touching her face and arms which is inappropriate and scares the girl deeply. The girl calls the police.

|Flirting |Sexual Harassment |
|The receiver feels happy |Often by forcing |
|It relates to sex |Sexual content( relates to sex) |
|It’s naughty, funny and exciting |Often involve physical touch and coarse |
|The receiver wishes it |language |
|Both the person who is doing it or the |Degrades people |
|receiver have positive attitude toward |It is a crime |
|each other |It scares people |
|The receiver feels honour and attractive. |It leaves the victim a negative memory |
|It often involves welcomed physical touch |The victim does not wish or desire it. |
|and flattering language |The victim feels shameful, sad, and angry |

In this case, the inappropriate flirting definitely results the same as sexual harassment. The girl feels insulting and all the negative feelings caused by sexual harassment.

Step 2: Contrary Case A middle age woman is troubled by lacking a boy friend for a long time. She meets a handsome and wealthy man in the bar. The man has a crush on her and trying to flirt with the woman by flattering her beauty and making some loving touch on her hair and shoulder. The woman is very happy and they finally wake up in the same bed together next morning.

|Flirting |Sex Harassment |Why not sex harassment |
|The receiver feels happy |It involves forcing |The victim of harassment does not feel |
|Welcomed physical touch and flattering |It is a crime |good |
|It is equally happy and acceptable for |It scares and degrades people |No one is being forced |
|both sides | |No one committed a crime |
| | |Sex harassment does not welcome the |
| | |physical touch |
| | |Only the person commits sex harassment |
| | |feels happy and acceptable. |
| | |No one is being scared and degraded |

In this case, flirting is not the same as sexual harassment because everyone is happy and well accepted what the other is doing.

Step 3: Borderline Case

A young and beautiful woman wears a sexy dress in a party that held by her company. She tries to catch the eye of her boss and makes a good impression to her boss which is good for her career. Her boss is deeply attracted by her and flirting with her by touching the woman’s butt and whispering closely beside her ears. The action is definitely out of the woman’s control and out of her plan. She does not intend to cheat on her husband with her boss, but she can not claim her boss committed a sexual harassment because her career might be ended and it is hard to explain to her husband.

|Flirting |Sexual Harassment |
|Can be used as a strategy to gain profit |It is defined by the receiver |
|Can cause moral issue (cheats on the partner) |The victim may be forced to stay silent |
|Can go far beyond then what one expected |It leads a negative effect to the marriage |
|The receiver may misunderstands it | |

In this case, the victim is hardly making any move. If she claims her boss for sexual harassment, her career might be ended and her husband would be so angry to her.

Step 4: Social Contest
A. Who would ask this question? A man who is claimed sexual harassment by a woman, however he believes that the girl was flirting with him first and he was just flirting back. This reminds me to the controversial case of Kobe Bryant who is a famous basketball player. A waitress claimed she was sexually harassed by Kobe, but Kobe thinks she was flirting with him first. The waitress got a huge amount of compensation from Kobe. No one knows the truth of whether Kobe is a sexual abuser or the whole event is a set up for money. B. Why would he ask this question? The man wonders why a flirting smile result in sexual harassment when he feels the woman was flirting with him first. Maybe he misunderstands the man or maybe it is a dirty set up planed by the woman. C why is this a good social situation in which to place the question? As people are more and more focused on human rights and women rights, the guilty of sexual harassment has been raised higher and higher. However, the charity people hold for the disadvantage groups some times results negatively. Some people may use it to gain their own profit. It leads to the innocent man to doubt about the morality and his value towards the disadvantage groups. D What does C tell you about the concepts? The concept between flirting and sexual harassment can be hard to distinguish. A same conversation or body touch can be defined differently. The only way to define whether it is a sexual harassment or flirting is the attitude by the receiver. If the receiver believes it is flirting, then you are safe. If she or he believes it is a sexual harassment, then you better stop what you are doing or you may end up in jail.

Step 5: Underlying Anxiety A. What sorts of feelings or worries cause you to personally ask this question? ✓ I’m curious on the concept of sexual harassment ✓ It is important to know what types of flirting will end to sexual harassment in order to stay away from a crime. ✓ I want to under stand more of flirting because it can help me to find a girlfriend. B. What about the question might cause you to worry? The question might be loaded that scares me to act flirting again. The way the question asked looks like flirting is being treated as sexual harassment some times which I believe it is totally different. And it could be a misleading that the two concepts are not related at all. C How are A and B helpful in understanding the question? ✓ It can help me to take my own position towards the question, and my position and concerns could be the same as majority. ✓ Perhaps the my worries may prove the question is very problematic that it miss-related two unrelated things ✓ After looking at my worries, I might find a new hidden factor of the question. Like is it a social cause to have the situation that flirting is taking form of sexual harassment

Step 6: practical results A. If flirting is a form of sexual harassment ✓ Flirting is a crime. ✓ A potential couple hardly shows their interest to each other. ✓ The penalty of sexual harassment is hard to address ✓ A decrease in number of marriage and result in a negative increase in world population B. If flirting is not a form of sexual harassment. ✓ People who committed sexual harassment will claim they are flirting ✓ Inappropriate sexual attend will increase ✓ The victim of sexual harassment will hardly maintain their human rights

Step 7: produce definitions of key concepts

|Flirting |Sexual Harassment |
|The receiver feels happy |Often by forcing |
|It relates to sex |Sexual content( relates to sex) |
|It’s naughty, funny and excting |Often involve physical touch and coarse |
|The receiver wishes it |language |
|Both the person who is doing it or the |Degrades people |
|receiver have positive attitude toward |It is a crime |
|each other |It scares people |
|The receiver feels honored and attractive.|It leaves the victim a negative memory |
|It often involves welcomed physical touch |The victim does not wish or desire it. |
|and flattering language |The victim feels shameful, sad, and angry |

Flirting: a naughty, funny, exciting and welcomed physical touch or flattering language, often relates to sexuality, which makes the receiver feels happy, honored and attractive.
Sexual harassment: a sexual crime which committed by inappropriate physical touch and coarse language often by forcing. It is degrading and the victim feels shameful, sad, angry, and leaves the victim a negative memory because it is not what the victim whishes or desires.

Step 8: Analytical chart

|Exclusive to flirting |Common to both |Exclusive to harassment |
|Equally shared the positive attitude |Both of them relates to sexuality (T) |Different result that harassment leads to|
|towards both the receiver and the actor |Both could involves physical touch (T) |shameful sad and angry but flirting leads|
|(I) | |to happy and honored.(I) |

1. Both of them relates to sexuality. It is trivial because it relates to sex does not hold any importance in the outcome of the two concept. Sex itself does not tell you good or bad. However, an unwanted or forced sex is bad, wishful and desirable sex is positive. 2. Flirting leads to equally shared the positive attitude towards both the receiver and the actor. This is important because we can know that they both have positive feelings to each other so that no one is being forced unlike sexual harassment which against human rights. 3. The result is different between flirting and sexual harassment. This is important and it is a main difference between the two concepts. Flirting leads to happiness but harassment leads to shameful and sad. It is always important to look at the result. It is the main measurement to value one’s action.

As students in York University, people must get familiar with the idea of sexual harassment. Students are tired of hearing the news of someone is getting sexually abused in the library, in the hall way, or any place in York that people exist. It even happened last month. But the news involving sexual harassment are always on the top of our attentions because people are increasingly paying attentions to the human rights and particularly the rights of disadvantage groups. The sexual harassment is no longer only taken the forms of raping, forcing, or grouping as people used to think. An inappropriate sex joke or an unwanted physical touch could consider as sexual harassment as well. This would make people think is flirting considered the same as sexual harassment. The author argues that flirting does share a trivial similarity with sexual harassment, but they are essentially different. Both of flirting and sexual harassment deals with sexuality, but the receiver’s attitude towards the action is different and the outcomes they have are entirely contrary. First of all, both of flirting and sexual harassment share the same purpose of requesting sex to another. No mater what way a person is flirting, they can not cover the truth that they have sexual interest to the person they try to flirt, and so is sexual harassment. However, the similarity is trivial because people can not claim whether it is right or wrong by the action of sex itself. It is totally different between a forcing or unwanted sex and a wishful or desirable one. It is like a complete stop at the stop sign is different from not stopping the car at all although they are all dealing with driving. As a result, one can not conclude that flirting is the same as sexual harassment only because they both relates to sexuality. Some people may contradict this idea by claiming that not all flirting can receive a positive feed back. The receiver may not like the flirting or feels comfortable, and the result of this flirting would be the same as sexual harassment which makes the two concepts are the same. However, the objection misunderstands the definition of flirting. Flirting indicates a naughty, funny, exciting and welcomed physical touch or flattering language, often relates to sexuality, which makes the receiver feels happy, honored and attractive. It clearly states that the receiver likes the action and feels happy. If the receiver hates the action, then it is not called flirting but sexual harassment. The objection leads to a major difference between the two concepts as stated below. Flirting equally shares the positive attitude towards both the receiver and the actor, but sexual harassment is only taken as one-sided willingness. As ones should notice, sexual harassment often involves forcing and the actor is being satisfied by against the will of the victim. On the other hand, everyone is feeling joyful and satisfied in the case of flirting. This difference is definitely important. People have their rights to choose what they want and achieve their willingness on their own. It is the basic of human rights, and anything that stops them from their legal willingness should be considered as a crime which is exactly the case of sexual harassment which sexually satisfies the actor by forcing the victim to do what they are not willing to do. An objection of this argument could be that whether the action is defined as flirting or sexual harassment is only based on the words of the receiver. There are lots of cases that during the conversation or physical touch, the receiver is happy and joyful. But, he or she lies that the actor committed a sexual harassment later on. It could be the reasons of compensation or being famous. The point is this kind of thing exists in the modern society, and it results a lovely flirting ends up to a sexual harassment. The author would shut the objection down by stating the key definition of flirting again. In the case of flirting, both of actor and the receiver feels happy, satisfied and joyful. However, in the case of the objection, the actor is definitely not feeling happy after he is forced to the title of sexual abuser. It should be considered as a dirty set up which is not even close to the loving action called flirting. Last but not least, the results come from flirting and sexual harassment are entirely different. Sexual harassment scares, degrades people and makes the victim feels shameful, sad, and angry. It leaves the victim a negative memory in the future which he or she will never forget. It is a scar in the mind that reminds people the tragedy will hurts people forever in the rest of their lives. It is a nightmare that wakes people up in the late night and keeps them awake until morning when the sun raises but the sunshine hardly goes throw the window. On the contrary, flirting does not cause any pain for both the actor and receiver. It brings happiness, excitement, and pleasure to them. It is the sweet dream that holds people together, and it is the beginning of a loving relationship or marriage. The difference is important because the results are the main measurement to value each of the two concepts. If sexual harassment ends up to the result of happiness and joy as flirting, then it is not a crime or prohibited by the society. Likewise, if flirting causes painfulness and against the will of the receiver, then it should be considered as a crime which is prohibited by the society. As a result, the difference between the outcomes of the two concepts distinguishes the ideas of flirting and sexual harassment. Some people could give an example of contrary, and it is a true event happened in Toronto. A brother in law was sexually abusing his sister in law by raping. The girl was fighting hard at first, but after a few minutes, the excitement caused by forbidden sex fulfilled her mind. They kept having this relation for a long time and both of them felt happy. The example may prove that the sexual harassment can end up in peace and joy which is the same as flirting, and it shows that flirting is the same as sexual harassment. The author admits that the unexpected sex does cause excitement, and so does the feeling of reaching sexual climax. But, there is no way for this kind of excitement takes the form of happiness. It only causes guilty, disloyalty, and unfaithfulness. No matter how long, there is one day they are going to experience the shame and degradation by their own moral judgement, and find out that sexual harassment is never going to be the same as flirting. The relations between people are getting much more complicate while people are trying to reduce the responsibilities they should carry on their sexualities. But the sex is never getting any simpler as people expected. Social problems are raised because of the inappropriate attend to sex which is claimed as sexual harassment. It is a one-sided will that hurts the victim and leads to a negative effect on the victim. Although, both sexual harassment and flirting are dealing with sexuality, flirting satisfies both the actor and the reviver’s willingness and has a positive outcome.

Outline
Position: Flirting and sexual harassment shares a trivial similarity, but essentially different
1. both deal with sex explain first and prove it is trivial by an example with of driving habit in order to show this trivial similarity might leads to important difference Objection: flirting may have negative feed back which result the same as sexual harassment Response: by definition, if it response negatively, then it is not flirting but sexual harassment
2. one is one-sided willingness, the other satisfies both wills explain and prove it is important by the basic of human rights and show why harassment is a crime but flirting is not Objection: flirting or harassment is explained only by the opinion of the receiver, if she/he lies the result of a flirting may end up the same as harassment. Response: this case may violate the flirting’s idea of both actor and receiver are happy, so it is a set up but not an action of flirting.
3. outcomes are different Explain that one has possible outcome and one has negative. Objection: the example of sexual harassment proves excitement caused by prohibited sex Response: the excitement is morally wrong and leads to shame and degradation