James Mcneil SPC 103 Self Assessment Fi

Self-Assessment
James Lee Mcneil
SPC-103
November 25, 2014
Janet Tucker Fulk
SIUE Edwardsville

Self-Assessment I have learned many interesting things about myself as a communicator, thinks to taking the Interpersonal Communication’s class. I will discuss what I have learned about myself and my strengths and weakness. During the first week of class I learned that Noise was anything that interferes with or distorts communication. I also learned that Noise could be Physical– External / Physical – Outside the speaker or listener (see – hear – feel – smell, etc.) Physiological – Internal / Physical – Hearing problems, speech problems, etc. Psychological – Internal / Mental – Thoughts, Biases, Worries, Self-talk. Semantic – Words / Language / Meaning. I learned that Physiological Noise is a major issue for me because I suffer from hearing loss, which tends to affect my ability to communicate with others.
I also learned about Axioms (Principles that Guide Communication). I learned that most of the time I relate to Communication is Purposeful - To Learn, Influence, Help, Relate, and Play. The communication between me and another has to have a purpose, if it has no purpose, I will most likely discontinue the communication. I also learned about the Qualitative Nature of
Interpersonal Communication. I could relate to Uniqueness – Each relationship is unique – and different than others and Interdependence – Each relationship involves interdependence (What you do affects the other person – and what they do affects you). The first week of class was very interesting and I learned a lot the first week.
During the second week I learned about how self-concept is formed. I learned about Self-
Fulfilling prophecy. 1. You think something will occur. 2. You ACT in a way that MAKES it occur. 3. Because you acted that way – it DOES occur. 4. Because it occurred - Your initial belief is reinforced. (Can be imposed on us by ourselves, or by others.) I finally realized that many of the issues I had in the past, I caused because it was my way of thinking. I could limit or do away with bad outcomes or issues by just thinking in a more positive manner.
I learned about EGO BOOSTERS and EGO BUSTERS and also found out that I tend to be an
Ego Booster but depending on the issue at hand, I could also be an Ego busters. I am pretty good at boosting my friends Ego but I also have friends and mainly family who are Ego busters towards me. I also learned about PRESENTING THE SELF: COMMUNICATION AS
IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT and learned about Perceived self = Self Concept – How WE see OURSELVES and Presenting self = Identity Management (Presenting ourselves in the way we want others to see us). It is amazing and true, I tend to see myself different then I present myself to others.
During week three of class I learned that I was a Small Chunk – I focuses on details. If I don’t have all of the details, it makes it hard for me to come to a conclusion. I am also a Parts – Take in Details>> THEN puts them in the Context. Without all parts I am loss. I am also Internal focus inward - Decide based on own beliefs. My beliefs are very strong and were learned at an early age as a child, I tend to stick to them and my decisions most of the time will be based off of my beliefs. I am also a Divided Attention –/ Multitask – I can focuses on more than one thing at a time, and I am an outstanding multitasker. I also learned about the “Neuro-Logical”
LEVELS, which are Mission – Purpose – Spirit, Identity, Values / Beliefs, Capabilities / Skills,
Behaviors, and Environment. I tend to relate to Values/Beliefs, and Mission-Purpose-Spirit.
During many other weeks of class I learned about Experiencing and Expressing Emotions. I learned that I rarely feel one feeling and that I tend to feel multiple feelings all at once.
I learned about managing difficult emotions. I learned that I use Encounter avoidance, which is preventing unwanted emotions by keeping away from situations or people likely to provoke them. In my daily life; it is family members I avoid for this very reason. My family is very judgmental and tend to stare up my emotions, so I will avoid certain family members. I also use
Encounter structuring - Preventing unwanted emotions by avoiding discussion of difficult topics or personal areas of contention.
I learned that there were areas of listening I need to improve on but also some areas I could not improve on, which is the hearing loss, I refuse to wear a hearing aid. I learned that listening is a five-step process a process that involves receiving, attending to, understanding, responding to, and recalling. I also learned about “WHY WE DON’T LISTEN BETTER”. My reasons I don’t listen better are Message Overload-exposed to too much information much of the time. External
Noise – distractions in our environment. Hearing Problems - physiological noise. Two out of the three I feel I can improve on with no problem but the third on would be hard to do because I refuse to wear a hearing aid.
I also learned that my Dimensions of listening or NON-JUDGEMENTAL (Listening with a focus on UNDERSTANDING what the speaker is saying). I also learned what my listening styles where. I learned that I am a people-oriented listeners are concerned with other people’s emotions and content-oriented listeners prefer to be challenged during encounters and enjoy complex and provocative information. I also learned about the art of listening and that my listening art is Assimilation to Prior Messages. People who always interpret messages in terms of similar messages remembered from the past. These people push, pull, chop, and squeeze messages in order to make sure that they are consistent with prior messages. These people need to remember that communicators and their communication styles are in a continual process of change. I tend to compare messages to similar messages to see if they match up or if the messages have changed; this also gives me the ability to tell if someone is lying to me.
I learned about relationships and how they affect me and others in a work place, home, family, and romantic partners. I learned that my love styles our STORGE – My lover is my friend –
Peaceful and Slow. Companionship, buddies, sex not main priority, slower paced, comfortableness. Shows love by being a comfortable companion and confidant to partner.
AGAPE – My love is steadfast - Compassionate and Selfless. Selfless, unconditional love. Puts other person’s needs and relationship above own desires at times. Love is steadfast and constant.
Does not withdraw love when upset with partner. Shows love by being accepting, caring, supporting.
I also learned about my dimensions of intimacy, which are Physical-Touching, Holding, Sexual, and Intellectual-Sharing thoughts and ideas. Overall I learned a lot of interesting things about myself as well and I also learned about other students in the class room. It was amazing to learn that in many ways we are different but also alike. I will take what I have learned in this class and try my best to apply it to my everyday life.