Living with Person Centred Values Will Change My World, Discuss This with Reference to Person Centred Theory and Your Own Experiences

Living with Person Centred values will change my world. Discuss this with reference to Person Centred theory and your own experiences.

Introduction
Person Centred therapy was founded and developed by Carl Rogers in the 1940’s. Carl Rogers believed that all human beings are essentially good and will strive towards the goal of becoming a whole person who is achieving their potential. Rogers calls this ‘Actualising’. He believed that every client had the ability to change themselves, his style of counselling meant that he avoided giving advice or direction, it was not a method of problem solving, but a place of safety for the Client, who, under the right conditions would gain positive feelings about him/herself.
Rogers developed the idea that for the client to be able to actualise, grow and develop, they would need to be in the presence of a counsellor who displayed three Core Conditions. For the counselling process to be successful the client needs to feel that these three Core Conditions are in place, even though the client may not be aware of their importance. The client needs to feel that they have a trusting relationship with their counsellor and that they are valued as a person for their thoughts and feelings, that they will not be judged and are being listened to with understanding and compassion.
The three core conditions that need to be in place are, Congruence, Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) and Empathy.
Congruence
Congruence refers to the therapist's openness and genuineness—the willingness to relate to clients without hiding behind a professional facade. Therapists who function in this way have all their feelings available to them in therapy sessions and may share significant emotional reactions with their clients. Congruence does not mean, however, that therapists disclose their own personal problems to clients in therapy sessions or shift the focus of therapy to themselves in any other way. (website: Allan Turner.co.uk)
I understand Congruence to mean being genuine, to be myself so that this may encourage my client to be open and honest with me, for them to know that I am a person with thoughts and feelings and that we are equals in the room, that we are two people and I am interested in what they have to say. I may, as a result of being congruent, have my own emotions to my client’s feelings. In being congruent, I am trying to deeply understand them, I hope to demonstrate my congruence with my body language, engaging eye contact, not fidgeting or folding my arms to ensure that my client understands I am open to their feelings.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to see another person’s world through their eyes, ‘to walk in their shoes’. It involves deep listening to another person in all aspects: emotions, thoughts, body movements. The skill lies in matching empathic response to the correct level for the clients, thus building a sense of safety. (Counselling Skills in Context : Sally Aldridge : 54)
I understand empathy to mean, I will leave my own thoughts and prejudices behind and try to immerse myself in the life of the client, walk in their shoes, feel his/her feelings, demonstrate an understanding of feelings of sadness or happiness or confusion and show sensitivity to them.
I will use active listening skills, and let the client explore his/her own feelings, I will reflect back on what the client has told me to ensure that I have understood, this will show the client that I am really listening to them and may encourage the client to revaluate what they have told me or to expand upon it. I will not give advice or pass judgement or give an opinion, but I will listen to the feelings of the client and ask relevant questions around these feelings so that I may get to the core of why the client is feeling the way they are. This is important for the client, it shows that they are understood and shows them that I am checking my understanding. I will show empathic responses, use silence as a tool to stay with the client and allow them to reflect on what they have told me.
Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR)
Unconditional Positive Regard simply means that the counsellor listens in a non-judgmental warm way to the client. There are no conditions put upon the relationship. By taking this position in the relationship the client will be able to talk about what they are thinking and feeling without fearing a judgment or a rejection. (Person Centred Counselling: Gareth Martin : Website).
I understand Unconditional Positive Regard to mean that the Client may say exactly what he/she wants in a safe non-judgemental environment, I may not always agree with the clients thoughts, beliefs or way of life, but showing UPR means that I will accept the client and respect the client as an individual that has the right to be heard and to be able to speak freely without fear, the Client is given a place to speak about their inner most thoughts, fears, regrets with honesty and without fear of recrimination. This will mean the relationship between myself and the Client will grow and they may feel able to implement changes to their life or feelings as a result.
Criticism’s
It has been said that Person Centred Theory isn’t for everyone.
Client-centred therapy may work less well with people who find it difficult to talk about themselves or have a mental illness that distorts their perceptions of reality. (Person Centred Theory Under the Microscope: Harvard Medical News: Website)
I do agree to a point with this statement, I think that the Person Centred approach wouldn’t be any good on its own for people with serious mental health issues or people that find it difficult to talk about themselves, because they need further medical intervention to help them resolve issues, such as medication or different therapy’s. However, I do believe that the person centred approach could still be a great foundation for any therapy under any circumstances, that to help someone ‘actualise’ could be part of the process of healing for anyone, ie, could be used once medication is underway or could help someone to be able to talk about themselves and get to the ‘core’ of why they are feeling the way they do. I do believe that the Person Centred Approach can be used for every individual, because it is so focused on the individual, and that in itself can never be harmful.
Conclusion
I have seen that there are many styles of counselling, CBT, Person Centred Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy etc but all of them seem to have the same foundation and use to some extent the 3 Core Conditions that were put in place by Carl Rogers. In my own experience since starting this course, I have found that using them in my personal relationships has changed some of the relationships that I have. When I first started the course, I thought that I was a good listener. I now realise that by using Active Listening Skills, that I am a better listener.
When my daughter, has something important to say, I stop what I am doing, or if this isn’t possible, I tell her a time when I can stop what I am doing and I sit down with her and listen to what she has to say. I look at her, face her, face her, show her she has my full attention, let her speak to me without interrupting her. I turn off the TV or Radio and give her a quiet place so she knows I am ready and willing to listen to her. I don’t interrupt or give an opinion or show bad reactions as she is speaking to me, I stay open with my body language so she can tell me what’s going on. I have started to ask her how she is feeling about what may of happened, why she reacted the way she did and what was going through her mind at the time that made her feel that she needed to react that way. Our relationship has improved so much because of this, she definitely talks to me more, and opens up to me and I know that the reason for this is because of the trust she has in me as a person to listen to her and help her come to her own solutions and this in turn makes her feel more valued. When I first started to put these skills into practice, they were a conscious effort on my part, but thankfully now, they have become a natural part of our relationship and that is because I believe I am growing as a person and this is becoming ‘a way of being’ to me. As a result, I can clearly see how these conditions are crucial to a counsellor/client relationship, whatever the style of counselling is, without them, the relationship has no foundation to be built upon and the client has no place of safety to grow as a person.