My Leadership Philosophy

The term “leadership” hung over me in a daunting manner for most my middle and high school life. Growing up introverted, even the task of introducing myself to a new class or team made my hands tremble and my mind go blank. Almost everyone gets nervous when confronted with public attention, and I even learned in high school psychology that it may be an innate fear from our ancestors; however, none of my friends seemed to suffer from this anxiety as much as I did. Every time I was assigned with a presentation, I turned cold in my seat as I fearfully waited for my turn, and when it came, my voice noticeably cracks and my words trip over each other. Leadership was not something that I thought I was capable of pursuing because of this anxiety,
Since my school harbored a monstrous student body of 2000 kids and counting, getting involved in leadership positions was hard because most of them were taken or hotly competed for. I could not find standing ground in school, so I looked to my church, a smaller community where I could find for the best starting point. In church, I had the privilege of being integrated as a student leader. When our pastor introduced the position to the ministry, he made sure to emphasize that students would be leading a group of peers. Without the age barrier, I wondered if I could follow through with it. How would my friends and peers accept me as a leader figure if I was their age, maybe even a little younger? Despite this pressing doubt, I took the leap. I knew it was necessary if I wanted to experience leadership. As a leader, my responsibilities included running a small group, leading discussions, and following up with group members throughout the week to make sure they were doing all right. I never considered the weight of my leadership before because I was too consumed in how my small group students would perceive me. Instead of judging, they looked to me for cooperation and guidance, regardless of my age. Experiencing the humility of others and their eagerness to learn and discuss the sermon caused my eyes to open. My age or knowledge did not determine my leadership, but rather my motivation to engage the group. This was something I had never thought
I loved playing the bass, and it was something I was learning and enjoying prior to joining the team. When I decided to play for my church back in seventh grade, I thought of it as nothing more than another place to play. As I matured, I gained an understanding that the church team was more than just playing music, but I still did not appreciate praise band as a form of leadership; after all, how was leadership something enjoyable and natural to me? In my senior year of high school, I am truly appreciating my position as a leader through worship. I look out to the congregation and see them clapping to worship, looking toward us for lyrics and rhythm. Worship is certainly not a performance, and I think this disconnect from music and performance was what made me realize my second position of leadership in my church. Playing on the team was a small part of services, but engaging with the ministry and other musicians after service and outside of the four walls of church was what presented me with the true opportunity to be a leader. Now that I have my own bass understudies, I am extending my leadership through music as well as small