Parenting 502 Research Paper
Leni Wilson
Reaction Paper #2
Dr. J. Kim
Counseling 502
Parenting is a very important task, a gift from God, and should not be taken lightly. In our society today, many people are taking the role of parenting as a big brother/sister role, or treating their own children as friends and not as the authority figure over them, and the guide that God has placed them to be. God expects us to raise our children to become product, positive, Christians, not just productive citizens in our society. In our text, we learned of the different parenting styles--authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and the uninvolved parent. I know parents in every category. Sadly, in many cases it is easy to tell which children have which kind of parents.
As I thought about the assignment, and what kind of parent I would like to be at first it was initially obvious---of course the authoritative. However, I look at each one more intensely, and I studied which style my parents were and I came to the conclusion that I might want to exercise a little of the authoritarian, authoritative and permissive at different times and stages of my children’s lives. The Authoritative parents are the parents who exercise “firm, setting clear and consistent limits” (Feldman 2008). These parents are strict, but not to the point that they are unwilling to listen, to engage, and respect their children as little people. This is probably the “ideal” parenting style. This style allows the children to have thought and to disagree at times. I like this style because it builds the respect and bond for both the child and parent.
The parent is the authority figure and maintains that position through consistency and firmness. However, in this style the parent allows room for error (on his/her part), it can give the child a chance to voice their concern or disagreement with a decision in a respectful way. The authoritative style parent is also a better communicator with his/her children and maybe closer. In the long run, when the child is grown, the parent/child relationship will be close and respectful. I think children of this parenting style continue to seek the wisdom of their parents throughout life. I was a product of this style (mostly)—my mom could be an authoritarian at times! But, I have a very close relationship with my mom, and more importantly, I respect her and her wisdom so much. I want to have the same relationship with my children (when God gives them to me) that my mom has with me. Sometimes in my teens it was difficult, (especially when she was in authoritarian mode), but because of the life my mom lived before me (she was single until I was 16) and the Godly character she constantly instilled in me, I looked to my mom for so much. She is my best friend, my confidante, my mentor and spiritual advisor and my mother. She is a wonderful, Godly woman, and if I can be half the women she is I will be on the right track.
Feldman, R. S. (2008). Development across the life span (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.
Reaction Paper #2
Dr. J. Kim
Counseling 502
Parenting is a very important task, a gift from God, and should not be taken lightly. In our society today, many people are taking the role of parenting as a big brother/sister role, or treating their own children as friends and not as the authority figure over them, and the guide that God has placed them to be. God expects us to raise our children to become product, positive, Christians, not just productive citizens in our society. In our text, we learned of the different parenting styles--authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and the uninvolved parent. I know parents in every category. Sadly, in many cases it is easy to tell which children have which kind of parents.
As I thought about the assignment, and what kind of parent I would like to be at first it was initially obvious---of course the authoritative. However, I look at each one more intensely, and I studied which style my parents were and I came to the conclusion that I might want to exercise a little of the authoritarian, authoritative and permissive at different times and stages of my children’s lives. The Authoritative parents are the parents who exercise “firm, setting clear and consistent limits” (Feldman 2008). These parents are strict, but not to the point that they are unwilling to listen, to engage, and respect their children as little people. This is probably the “ideal” parenting style. This style allows the children to have thought and to disagree at times. I like this style because it builds the respect and bond for both the child and parent.
The parent is the authority figure and maintains that position through consistency and firmness. However, in this style the parent allows room for error (on his/her part), it can give the child a chance to voice their concern or disagreement with a decision in a respectful way. The authoritative style parent is also a better communicator with his/her children and maybe closer. In the long run, when the child is grown, the parent/child relationship will be close and respectful. I think children of this parenting style continue to seek the wisdom of their parents throughout life. I was a product of this style (mostly)—my mom could be an authoritarian at times! But, I have a very close relationship with my mom, and more importantly, I respect her and her wisdom so much. I want to have the same relationship with my children (when God gives them to me) that my mom has with me. Sometimes in my teens it was difficult, (especially when she was in authoritarian mode), but because of the life my mom lived before me (she was single until I was 16) and the Godly character she constantly instilled in me, I looked to my mom for so much. She is my best friend, my confidante, my mentor and spiritual advisor and my mother. She is a wonderful, Godly woman, and if I can be half the women she is I will be on the right track.
Feldman, R. S. (2008). Development across the life span (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.