Parenting Styles Should Be Combined To Raise Well-Balanced Children

Jessica Rendle
EN1420 Moon
Position Paper
December 13, 2013

All parenting styles should be combined to raise well balanced children.

Every parent is different in his or her own way. Each one has one of three different parenting styles. These are authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive styles. One 's parenting style is usually a result of their own upbringing, their role models, or simply from the society in which they live. The style, in which one parents, is a very important aspect to the way a parent interacts with their child (Edwards, Rebecca. Parenting Styles). “Parenting style has a profound effect on the kid’s brain. The brain is molded by how parents treat their kids and the parenting styles and how it affects their child’s academic achievement, self-confidence, aggression, psychological strength, and capacity to cope with real-life challenges”.
Authoritarian parents strongly believe that their kids can be the best in school.
Not being able to make their kids the best means the parent is doing his/her jobs. Authoritarian parents believe that nothing is fun, unless you are good at it. An advantage to authoritarian parenting, according to research, demonstrates that kids who are protected from difficult problems and tasks do not develop what psychologists call “mastery experiences.” Kids who have these experiences tend to be optimistic, decisive and think of themselves as being capable of overcoming the greater challenges life throws at them. Some disadvantages to this parenting style have more impact than you may think. Some kids, who are pressured by parents to perform perfectly in school, eventually end up hating school. Many kids who are raised by authoritarian parents show signs of psychological problems, such as depression and anxiety, and some even resort to suicide
.

Permissive parents are more lenient; avoid confrontation with their kids, allowing considerable self-regulation from their kids. They are more concerned about their kids’ self-esteem and need to constantly reassure the kids of their self-worth. Permissive parents acknowledge and give value to their kids’ individuality; they support their kids’ endeavors and provide positive reinforcement in any and all cases, with little or no discipline.

Some advantages of permissive parenting is that the kids tend to be more assertive and aggressive, because they grow up not as blind followers; rather than people who are masters of their fate. The kids who are raised in this manner are happier and tend to have less psychological issues later in life. Although there are some positive advantages, there are also disadvantages, including the fact that the kids who are not pushed by their parents to work hard and achieve tend to grow up to be underachievers or slackers, not caring where their future is going.

Most people think strict parenting produces better behaved kids. However, studies on discipline consistently show that the strict or authoritarian child actually produces kids with lower self-esteem who behave worse and get punished more. Strict parenting deprives kids of the opportunity to internalize self-discipline and responsibility. It limits without empathy and is based on fear and teaches kids to bully. Kids raised with strict discipline learn that power is always right; therefore, they learn to obey; but they don’t learn to think for themselves and make good decisions. Strictly raised kids learn only to “do right,” when the parent is around; but they get into more trouble, when we are not and also become excellent liars.

According to Dr. Markham, parents who are nurturing, and those that set and discuss with their kids age-appropriate guidelines and limits, help their children become independent, self-controlled, and self-confident, as they go through middle childhood and adolescence. Agreeing with just one style is selfish, there should be a well-balanced mixture of authoritarian, strict, and permissive parenting. They all have good benefits to offer, but they can also raise some red flags. Pay attention and take note of the child’s personality and encourage the child to do his or her best by helping them develop their talents and give them the right amount of freedom by nurturing the child’s emotional, social, intellectual and physical worth. Children thrive on limits and age appropriate expectations but only if they are set with empathy. Do not give the child the impression that mediocrity and average success is all that is expected.

Children supported with well-balanced parenting are usually the ones who acquire a genuine sense of self-value. What we are really aiming for is the high expectations and limits that keep kids functioning at a high level, combined with the warmth and support of “permissive.” These kids are usually high achievers in school, and they are also the ones that are responsible and well-liked, nice and considerate to others. That is the “secret” that raises amazing kids and it makes for a much happier, psychologically stable young adult that prepares them for a well balance adult life in their future.

References

Markham, L. (2013). Raise a self-disciplined child. Retrieved December 13, 2013, from htttp://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline

Brooks, R. (n.d.). Dr robert brooks. Retrieved December 2013, from http://www.drrobertbrooks.com/writings/articles/0709.html