I haven’t hit the pinnacle I plan to reach. People say chase the dream, chase
your vision. Unfortunately my vision is quite blurry. My vision is constantly changing due
to the people around me. They wear the glasses to my future and it’s crystal clear what
they want me to be. Maybe I’m just wearing the wrong prescription. I’ve been put on this
pedestal that I can’t come down from. World of opportunities but it means nothing if your
unable to obtain the decision of what you want to do and what steps your going to take
to get there.
I can’t meet these expectations of others for the simple fact I’m not living to
impress and make others happy. I’m living to do what interest me. I appreciate the ideas
and opinions of others that think they know what’s best but they shouldn’t dictate my
future for me. If I mess up something it’s like the world is going to end. I
completely understand people who care about you naturally wants to see you succeed
and have a bright future for yourself but everything can’t just happen at the pace they
want it to. It’s going to take some time if to see if I even want to consider what other
people want my career to be. In my father’s eyes, he wants me to be a high paying
doctor that can buy him a house and 2 cars. My mother on the other just wants me to be
successful and have no friends. It’s like their living vicariously through me. Whatever
they wanted and couldn’t do , I have to do it for them . In reality I don’t even know what I want to do with my life because of all the conflicting issues between making them happy
and making myself happy. At times I just give in to the pressure and do whatever makes
them happy but it’s not what I want.
Being told what I’m supposed to be and how I’m going to make it there isn’t
fair or realistic. I can’t voice my opinion because how I feel doesn’t matter. No matter
what I do it isn’t