Personal Narrative Essay

Call it terror, stage fright, a panic attack. By anyone's terminology, I literally thought I was going to die. Or maybe I simply wanted to die, rather than proceed with my dismal fate. Sensing a lack of oxygen in my lungs, I began to quietly hyperventilate. Breathe, Kelly, breathe. For a split second, I wondered if this was how people felt at the very moment that they "lost it".

Ironically, to an outside observer, nothing unusual was happening. The scene was a college class in Japanese, on the day of their first oral quiz. Yet to me, a teenage girl with a paralyzing fear of public speaking, it might as well have been a national news interview. At least in that situation, Ted Koppell would have bailed me out.

I sat frozen on a wooden chair, too nervous to move, as I waited impatiently for my turn. As a high school student taking classes at Rutgers University, I was desperate to feel accepted by my college peers. I stared at the Japanese book in front of me, silently reciting my mini-dialogue, although I already knew the lines by heart. Yet, in the presence of these "strangers" in the room, I felt scared. What if I made a mistake? What if I embarrassed myself? What the heck was I doing there? Anticipating a long semester among these
"Ma-san, your turn." I slowly walked up the aisle as if I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I reached the front of the classroom, I felt the stare of my fellow students looking back at me. As adrenaline surged through my body, I perspired and blushed. "How can I do this? How can I recite something in Japanese in front a bunch of college students when I'm too nervous to present a speech in front of my high school friends?" Yet, I knew I must do it, both to get an "A" in the course and to prove myself to my classmates. So many people, including my guidance counselor and biology teacher, had faith in me. Everyone I knew, especially my parents, expected me to succeed. I had to do it for