Personal Narrative: Finding My Box Of Blades

After a few months, we finally moved into our actual house. I unpacked quickly eager and excited to find my blades. It was the beginning of my 8th grade year when I noticed that I had started cutting deeper and deeper. It was leaving marks on my skin, but nothing too noticeable. I went to the doctors for a heart problem and they put me on a Beta Blocker which slows your heart down. After a couple of days of having the pills, I stopped taking them and began to save them up. Late one night, I found myself writing. I realized quickly that I was writing a suicide note. I hadn’t intended on killing myself that night, but for whenever I did, I didn’t want to leave my family without any kind of explanation. I signed the letter with “I hope you understand.
I stuck the letter underneath my bed where I had my box of blades. Little did I know that the letter was a smart idea because I ended up attempting suicide multiple times that year. It was tiring to get up every day for school and focus, but I still did my very best so my parents did not become concerned. Everyday I would go to cheerleading practice, come home, cut, and take pills. It became an everyday routine. I loved being a cheerleader, but i lacked so much confidence and every time I would stretch my cuts would rip open and start bleeding again. One day after school, mom came to pick me up from practice. On the way home she kept saying strange things like “I hope you know that you could always come talk to me or your father about anything”. When I had gotten home I noticed that the sheets had been taken off of my bed. My first reaction was to look underneath my mattress where I had everything hidden. Everything was gone. My heart sank and my stomach dropped. I instantly felt sick. My parents called me down in the basement later that evening to talk to me. I sat down on the couch as my mom pulled out the sparkly light grey box that contained all of my blades. My parents attempted to talk to me about it