Personal Narrative: Generalized Anxiety Disorders

When I was in sixth grade, a guest came to speak to the entire class about middle school sports. During a question and answer session I asked if it was possible to run cross country and play basketball, a kid yelled across the gym “Why ask you’re too fat to play sports” and the whole gym burst into laughter, I was humiliated. Embarrassed beyond belief, tormented by others, and battling my own demons from generalized anxiety disorder, my problems were epitomized. It was at that point when I decided that I would not let anyone break my spirit, and I was determined to run both cross country and play basketball. After I ran my first cross country race, I was exhausted, my body felt destroyed, I was out of shape and I threw up. I finished
The two years were spent worrying who was better than who, talking about each other, and never feeling like I belonged. At the end of my eighth- grade year, I tore my ACL and meniscus. Instead of being buttressed through the toughest time of my life, my teammates started a rumor that I was faking my injury because I didn’t think I’d make the freshman team. Yes, this went all around the school, and it wasn’t until I had surgery and started the long road back to even being able to walk that it was finally put to rest, I had not faked any injury. My freshman year nearly cost me my life. I was jumped at school, tormented daily by a group of girls who assumed I liked a boy, and my own math teacher dumped a bottle of water on me. I was the butt of every joke. Ridiculed for everything I said, did, wore, or thought. I started cutting to be in control. I felt alone, unloved, and unworthy. When I realized just how much danger I was in, I solicited help. Comfort was immediate for me, I started therapy the next day, was surrounded by family who supported me, and found out who my true friends
I learned that I allowed people to abuse me, and in turn abused myself. I learned that I did not have to allow anyone to treat with such disrespect and that when I demanded respect, with my words and my actions I was respected, I was not a victim. I learned the value of myself as a person, I became able to determine what was important and what I needed to let go. I learned that I had friends, and I learned to have a voice. A voice that learned to stick up for others who were bullied. I learned not to let others control my emotions and that it was crucial to stand up for myself and refuse to be treated poorly. I understood to demonstrate respect for myself. I realized that you can’t control another person’s attitudes or actions, but you can control your reactions. I love myself. I can now reflect and see how far I’ve come, and the obstacles I have surpassed. I am stronger in my emotional health and have learned strategies in dealing with bullies. I am no longer the silent victim. I can raise my voice, I can be heard, and I can defend