Personal Narrative: Growing Up With Severe Depression

Growing up with severe depression is often handed down by family genes or caused by traumatic experiences. It causes lack of communication with friends, family and even yourself, but we fight it whether to survive or surrender. When you’re three years old, you often don’t think or see the real world how it is. The year 2001, my parents decided to divorce when I was only three, my sister six. I didn’t understand but once I got older, I realized the situation since my Father had moved to Kenosha shortly after the divorce and my Mother moved my sister and I to the town of Spring Grove, Illinois. By this time, I was only seven years old and often silent for I was shy. My Mother was dating someone, and my Father re-married. Never did I know that
With my personal experience, I stood out since I was only 4’8 and always wore dark clothes. Many targeted me daily whether it was in the hallways or even in class. I had a few friends but lost many as they told me “you’re too sad” or “you’re weak and I can’t be around someone who will just bring me down”. Even so, I only hung out with one person for my trust in many had been destroyed. She was my to go to when feeling down but she had her own problems to deal with. Once she moved away, I was once again alone with no one to stand beside and call a friend. In result my depression took over my life dramatically and I never wanted to speak up about it for I looked at it as a weakness, not strength. By seventh grade, a former classmate realized I wore hoodies often even on the hottest days or never wear the gym shorts that were uniform for gym class. He reported me to the counselor in which I was called down one day and forced to show them my legs and arms. It was too late but the counselor did everything she could to help me; however, it didn’t work. By the time I was in eighth grade, I had gotten my first boyfriend who was two years older than myself and my depression dwindled for once some happiness had returned to my life. Meanwhile, I didn’t know that things were going to decline once the days moved on. He became controlling and even abusive, pushing me into walls, slapping me and telling
I stopped self harming and opened my shell a bit in which I started making friends who stood beside me through some of the crappiest times of my life. From having some of my friends commit suicide my freshman year, to losing family friends to cancer or car accidents. Those times I felt the most helpless but I know I have to keep going. Keep thriving to survive this difficult world. Though I had friends in school, I often made friends online. I know most think “They’re not your friends, they’re strangers!”, well of course they are but they always make me laugh and we all do things we enjoy whether it’s playing video games together or sharing our favorite music, just as anyone would with a friend in person. At the same time, I grew close to one man who instantly clicked with me. We both meant a lot to each other and many told us “it’d never work, long distance never works, you never met the guy, you’ll never meet him and he could be dangerous”. At this point, hell the risk was worth it because anyone could be dangerous even in person. No doubt, we thrived to prove people wrong and we have. Three years together and meeting twice already, we proved people wrong as we grew happier and survive each day. By the time I graduated high school, so much has happened from being involved in a Navy Crime Investigation after being sexually assaulted by someone I knew for