Personal Narrative: The Garden Of Eden And The Arch Of The Covenant

Early in my childhood, I created a barrier between myself and religion. It is a barrier that simply originates from my absence of truth and being confused by Christianity.The barrier quickly became stronger as I found myself falling further away from a deep relationship with God. Soon I became overwhelmed with guilt, asking myself why did I let this go on for so long? Now as a young adult, I want to pursue a deeper understanding of how I can become a spiritually minded person.
Being brought up in a nonreligious household, made me become an outsider looking in. I believed if I were to go into a church I would be ostracized. I grew up separated, and unconfident in my religious understandings. I struggled to express my religious interpretations with
fear of being misunderstood. Questions filled my head, but I became skeptical of who could give me truthful answers. I then gradually ignored any connection between myself and God. As I became older I realized others around me were able to fully devote themselves to God reaching a spiritual level. Whereas I only had a conceptual grasp of Christianity. I know that God is an all powerful being, who created everything. He created every creature in his image to love and cherish equally. God wrote the bible through His disciples, which tells us how to live our life the way He intended through rules and stories.I believe that living a life guided by Christianity is the right way to follow. However, I am suspicious of the inconsistencies that surround the Christian faith.
People of the church say you have to be at peace with not knowing, but how can you put trust in a book that has been passed down for ages.
From the very beginning, the bible was based on word of mouth which can be easily stretched and distorted. It would have been easy for those in power to alter the words of the bible to what they wanted people to hear. Also, consider the location of The Garden of Eden and the Arch of the Covenant. The fact they have still been undiscovered leads the ultimate question. What elements of the bible were real and what was a figment of someoneś imagination? The extent of numerous people devoting their lives to searching for these locations and ending up with nothing makes me skeptical of what side I am on. It is difficult for myself to have faith in various stories that are misleading. How did Noah build an arch, that could hold every species of animal as well as various necessities?In the time period he was living, it would be impossible to build a boat that advanced, with the tools that were available. Although God guided him along the way, this story did not take account for the reality of the age they lived in. These flaws in the bible further my confliction to what I believe as
true.
The pressure to be content with just believing what it supposed to be true is what stops me from expanding my relationship with God.To only have faith without substantial proof is not enough for me at the moment. However, I want to overcome this in order to build a stronger, and fuller devotion to God. The enhancement into a spiritual mindset is an awakening I have always yearned for. Until I can enter my spiritual mentality I am living a blind life. I am wandering the world stuck in black and white perspective, and know that when I enter my relationship with God it will advance into beauty.