Relational Dialecticic

Introduction
Going back to college after a long absence working and leading productive lives is often a case of teaching new tricks, new language, and new technology to the preverbal old dog. Similar contradictions exist within family structures and in established friendships. These mature students arbitrate themselves as older students and their social relationships with younger classmates. Relational dialectics is a communication theory which was studied in 1988 by professors Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery the main focus on this theory are the contradictions that take place within relationships. The point of origin of Relational Dialectic is its contradiction the philosophical portion examines the tensions that live within a relationship.
The ideas for this concept originate within the contradictions of a relationship when two very different people try to keep a relationship alive. This theory is important because it exists within relationships. The knowledge that can be obtained by learning relational dialectic is crucial. Dialectical strains can damage relationships, causing them to become unbalanced, stressful and forcing disagreements. Taking the time to learn relational dialectic concepts will provide an individual better understanding and how to resolve conflicts as they arise during the life of a relationship. This knowledge is very important to understand if one is consistently experiencing conflicts in his or her relationship. Obtaining the knowledge of how relational dialectics work, stress, anxiety, and uncertainty within relationships can be reduced. The following case studies will highlight different aspects of relational dialects within the different levels of contradictions. The following concepts included will be openness-closeness, certainty-uncertainty, and connectedness-separateness.

Theoretical Overview
Communication groups encounter inwardness, opposing tugs induce relationships to be in a consistent state of fluctuation commonly referred as dialectical tension. (Griffin, Ledbetter, and Sparks, 2015). The stress of these strains happens in a recurring wavelike fashion over a period of time. Relational Dialectics brings forth the concept in which the closer people grow to one another, the more strife will emerge to tear them away from each other.
In the following interpretative case study, 15 students returned to college after a considerable absence due to life and work.
(O’ Boyle, 2014). These adults are introduced to the challenges of university life and their subsequent interactions with younger peers. This study takes a closer look at the inner workings of society and their feelings and perspectives as they attempt to integrate back into university life. The integration-separation theory is key to this study, including the position between connection and autonomy in relation to the adult student re-entering university life and choosing whether to make connections with their younger
peers.
Personal relationships are indeterminate processes of ongoing flux. According to Baxter and Montgomery “social life is a dynamic knot of contradictions and endless interplay between contrary and opposing tendencies.” (Griffin, Ledbetter, and Sparks, 2015).
Relational dialectics focuses on the tension, challenges and overall chaos that come with close personal ties. Mikhail Bakhtin is a Russian theorist who survived the Stalin regime. Bakhtin saw dialectical strains as a deep-rooted structure within the human experience. Baxter and Montgomery concluded that traditional goals of a communication theory are not what theorists are trying to obtain. These goals are not even considered practical when they try to access relationships. (Griffin, Ledbetter, and Sparks, 2015)

Synthesis of Scholarship
A contract between people is considered a relationship or union; both parties are from diverse backgrounds and learn how to accommodate and work together. Many people feel internal stress due to tensions created from the relationship; over periods of time, the tensions become repetitive in nature in addition to the severe tendencies, the relationship carries on.
Military Family Relationships
As an illustration of interpersonal conflicts, the activities of American soldiers and their families are very important and this study is of great interest post 9/11.
As US military deployments increase in the Middle East, it will definitely have a strong impact on military families presently and for future generations. This case study will enlighten the public on the challenges of being a military family. The role of a single parent is blurred because it is no longer a gender-specific role, the parent must assume both roles in parenting: feminine and masculine. (Saghlstein, Maquire & Timmerman, 2009). The family process becomes unbalanced where children have a two parent household parenting duties are equally shared versus a single parent household where a single parent has less time for parenting and assumes the role of caretaker and provider. The findings concluded three oppositions with military families and deployment: uncertainty-certainty, autonomy-connection, and openness-closeness. Researchers are aware that various oppositions may occur simultaneously during varied
times.
Turning Points Between Friends
The friendship concept within itself is a dialectic that can either progress or deteriorate. Relational progression through friendships will be carefully examined, and the analysis will show the progression of friendships by taking a closer look at the closeness and pulling away by partners at the same time. Authors applied relational dialectic theory concepts to analyze three paths of friendships: Casual, close and best friend. Authors claim stages of friendship are perceived as dialectic. Frequent studies show friendships experience levels of change through continually shared experiences with friends. (Johnson et al., 2003). The findings of this study spotlight the applications of how relational development is perceived as a progressing and deteriorative dialectic. Approximately half of friendships reported changes in closeness. The quantity of changes in closeness tiers is associated with satisfaction towards casual friendships, focusing on the relationship in relational development.

Conclusion
The evaluation of these articles created the belief that all relationships, whether they are family, friendship or acquaintance, each incur levels of flux; each relationship shares moments of closeness and distance. The tensions experienced through periods of time in relationships leads to support the concept of relational dialectic. All relationships have a beginning, middle, and end. The levels of fluctuation vary and in some cases relationships deteriorate instead of progressing. There is nothing certain about relational dialectic except uncertainty. These levels of change are not easy to track and measure because they flux in the same manner as a wave. A suggestion for this study would be to improve ways of communication through emotional intelligence and to learn coping mechanisms for stress and how to better understand partners. Elementary and high school curriculum should focus more on emotional intelligence by training an individual early, enabling these concepts to be well instilled in the person. It also is suggested that further study be given on how people cope with different stresses and how to apply the correct behaviors in uncertain situations especially with people incapable of emotional intelligence. It is understood that tensions arise in relationships because of many reasons, and the key is to understand these tensions and learn how to work past them instead of letting them affect and tear down the relationship. The case studies reviewed in this paper have provided perspective on different situations from military single household family to friendships and integration of individuals into an opposing setting. In showcasing these studies in relational dialectic there is no structure or certainty when it comes to emotional and physical behavior, it is an ongoing study and process on how to understand and cope.