Self Forgiveness

This review article deals with the forgiveness of one’s-self. The article states that there are few definitions of self–forgiveness that can be found in the social sciences literature, but those that do exist emphasize self–love and respect in the face of one’s own wrongdoing. In the philosophy literature, self–forgiveness has been conceptualized as a show of goodwill toward the self while one clears the mind of the self–hatred and self–contempt that result from hurting another (Hall, & Fincham, 2005). My definition of self-forgiveness is when a person knows that something is wrong, but yet they go ahead and do it anyway. Later they start to have feelings of guilt and shame about what they did. These feelings do not go away just by ignoring them. The conscious mind will not allow them to forget what they did. Ultimately a person may feel so bad about what they have done, that the only option is to forgive one’s self. If this feeling is ignored, it can lead to continued feelings of guilt and shame as well as a feeling of condemnation. Self–forgiveness also parallels interpersonal forgiveness in that it is different from condoning or forgetting a transgression. To forgive one-self is not to say that one’s behavior was acceptable or should be overlooked (Hall, & Fincham, 2005). In choosing to forgive one-self, it is certainly not because the behavior was considered to be acceptable. I believe that when a person forgives
His or her self, it is because they know that they have messed up and they cannot seem to move pass the guilty feelings. First a person needs to forgive themselves and then forgiveness is needed to be asked of the other person. Asking another person for forgiveness may not be as bad as having to deal with ones’ self. You may never have to face the other person again. However you cannot escape from yourself. Making a choice to hide from your own feelings only makes a person feel worse. Until the person comes clean with themselves, they will

References: Hall, J.H., & Fincham, F.D. (2007). Self-forgiveness: the stepchild of forgiveness research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24 (5), 621-637.