The Power Of Love Brrene Brown Analysis
There are no prerequisites for love and belonging, we are deserving of love and belonging simply by reason of existence. This is one of the abounding stunning ideas found in Brené Brown’s work. However, this was such a foreign idea to my way of being and of relating to the world that I had no salutation node towards it nor an A-ha moment. Only after repeated readings and listening did the clouds disperse. Theoretically I recognized its truth, but at some level I felt this truth did not refer to me.
If we believe we deserve happiness why do we struggle, why do we break? Why are we not constant sources of love and warmth? The Power of vulnerability addresses such disparities.
Brené Brown is a contemporary research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, also a conference speaker and author. …show more content…
Recordings of her inspiring live presence, always relaxed, friendly and humorous, are available on YouTube. The power of vulnerability, audio book, contains six hour of such live conferences. My way of becoming familiar with her work was through watching Ted Talks, listening to this audio book en route to reading The gifts of imperfection and Daring Greatly. Her work, extending on more than a decade, began with the study of shame, fear and vulnerability. However, in her studies she came across people who were resilient to shame and had a deeper enjoyment of life, she defined them as the wholehearted people. In addition, she searched the traits that differentiate their actions, that set them apart.
The idea of having access to knowledge about what the joyful, wholehearted do differently, appeared decidedly attractive to me. My first approach logic was: if I know what the steps, I can apply them in my life. That may be a sound starting point, Brené Brown does indeed list 10 guideposts for wholehearted living. But, she also specifies in the beginning of this audio book that “how to” does not work, annealing that if “how to” worked, we wouldn’t be struggling, as we would all know what is to be done.
Therefore, extra important is gaining understanding of why we struggle, why our spirits break, why somebody like myself would find it difficult to feel that she is worthy of love and belonging. The brief answer is: by cause of learning shame. We might learn shame from our families, our upbringing or due to the societies we live in. Brené Brown talks about American Culture, I live in Romanian Culture, her insights are universally relevant though. Contemporaneous culture is one of scarcity, she says, the culture of “not enough”, inclined to shame its members on various motives.
It is highly dangerous for us to enter life situations with the intimate goal of being defined, approved, accepted. Reformulated in the words of psychologist Nathaniel Branden: “If my aim is to prove I am enough, the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost the day I conceded the issue was debatable.” Other poisonous traits from our societies: comparisons and disengagement.
Every person knows shame talk, has shame triggers, but from the wholehearted people we learn that shame can be overcome.
There is an instrument to measure if one relates to life with shame or guilt (differentiation between shame, guilt, humiliation and embarrassment are presented by the author): the TASCA. This is where the ten guideposts of wholehearted living are useful. After we understand what triggers shame for us, we can be inspired by how others gained their resilience.
The way from shame to wholeheartedness goes through vulnerability. In the words of David Foster Wallace: “What passes for hip cynical transcendence of sentiment is really some kind of fear of being really human, since to be really human [...] is probably to be unavoidably sentimental and naïve and goo-prone and generally pathetic.”
People reject vulnerability by virtue of associating it with dark emotions: grief, uncertainty. But vulnerability is also the place where positive emotions are born: love, joy, empathy. Being courageous and vulnerable or protecting ourselves, this is a choice we arrive at often and if we choose disengagement, we close off
happiness.
If we believe we deserve happiness why do we struggle, why do we break? Why are we not constant sources of love and warmth? The Power of vulnerability addresses such disparities.
Brené Brown is a contemporary research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, also a conference speaker and author. …show more content…
Recordings of her inspiring live presence, always relaxed, friendly and humorous, are available on YouTube. The power of vulnerability, audio book, contains six hour of such live conferences. My way of becoming familiar with her work was through watching Ted Talks, listening to this audio book en route to reading The gifts of imperfection and Daring Greatly. Her work, extending on more than a decade, began with the study of shame, fear and vulnerability. However, in her studies she came across people who were resilient to shame and had a deeper enjoyment of life, she defined them as the wholehearted people. In addition, she searched the traits that differentiate their actions, that set them apart.
The idea of having access to knowledge about what the joyful, wholehearted do differently, appeared decidedly attractive to me. My first approach logic was: if I know what the steps, I can apply them in my life. That may be a sound starting point, Brené Brown does indeed list 10 guideposts for wholehearted living. But, she also specifies in the beginning of this audio book that “how to” does not work, annealing that if “how to” worked, we wouldn’t be struggling, as we would all know what is to be done.
Therefore, extra important is gaining understanding of why we struggle, why our spirits break, why somebody like myself would find it difficult to feel that she is worthy of love and belonging. The brief answer is: by cause of learning shame. We might learn shame from our families, our upbringing or due to the societies we live in. Brené Brown talks about American Culture, I live in Romanian Culture, her insights are universally relevant though. Contemporaneous culture is one of scarcity, she says, the culture of “not enough”, inclined to shame its members on various motives.
It is highly dangerous for us to enter life situations with the intimate goal of being defined, approved, accepted. Reformulated in the words of psychologist Nathaniel Branden: “If my aim is to prove I am enough, the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost the day I conceded the issue was debatable.” Other poisonous traits from our societies: comparisons and disengagement.
Every person knows shame talk, has shame triggers, but from the wholehearted people we learn that shame can be overcome.
There is an instrument to measure if one relates to life with shame or guilt (differentiation between shame, guilt, humiliation and embarrassment are presented by the author): the TASCA. This is where the ten guideposts of wholehearted living are useful. After we understand what triggers shame for us, we can be inspired by how others gained their resilience.
The way from shame to wholeheartedness goes through vulnerability. In the words of David Foster Wallace: “What passes for hip cynical transcendence of sentiment is really some kind of fear of being really human, since to be really human [...] is probably to be unavoidably sentimental and naïve and goo-prone and generally pathetic.”
People reject vulnerability by virtue of associating it with dark emotions: grief, uncertainty. But vulnerability is also the place where positive emotions are born: love, joy, empathy. Being courageous and vulnerable or protecting ourselves, this is a choice we arrive at often and if we choose disengagement, we close off
happiness.