You Except When Emotions Are Involved: An Analysis

Think about the last time you met someone new. Were you drawn to them? Did they pique your interest? Did you like them immediately? Now think about how long it took you to form your initial impression of them. Research says it’s likely your first impression was set in less than a second.
Take a minute to let that sink in….that means that most of the people you interact with are forming their impression of you before you speak a single word and, possibly, before you even realize they are sizing you up. This underlines the importance of sending the right non-verbal signals if you want to make a stellar first impression.
Body language is also a critical component of authenticity. If the messages your face and body are sending don’t match the words coming out of your mouth, even in small subtle ways, you will come across as inauthentic, even if you believe everything you are saying!
People struggle to talk about their emotions, and while this isn’t something you are likely to have to deal with at a networking event or social outing, it is an important nuance you need to understand to master meaningful eye contact.
Because your goal is to build relationships, emotional conversations will be involved at some point. In these circumstances, do not mirror the other person when they look away. Odds are they are looking away because of the emotional context of the conversation, not because the eye contact feels weird. If you also look away, you will send a different message than you mean to.
See, looking away when someone is sharing something emotional says “I don’t care” and “I am not interested” or “This is making me uncomfortable”. All of those messages will degrade and damage the relationship you are building. If your goal is to be supportive, keep your eyes on them, even if they look away.
Tackling