The "Unsocial-ness" of Social Media

The “Unsocial-ness” of Social Media
BlackLioness1111

Not too long ago, in the midst of a night out with my friends, I witnessed a social phenomenon: the antisocial nature of social media. As I was jamming out at this rave in the middle of the dance floor while simultaneously observing the other dancers around me, I noticed the many people sitting awkwardly on the surrounding couches and chairs. Most of them (the ones who weren’t completely and utterly intoxicated) were either staring blankly at people dancing or scrolling on their smartphones and had no explicit intention of conversing with the many people surrounding them.
I was taken aback by this occurrence; isn’t the point of going to a party to socialize? I decided to confirm the situation by leaving the dance floor and attempting to converse with these stagnant viewers. My first target was a girl who was sifting through her messages, who, after a quick hello, a semi-genuine smile, and a brief hug, quickly returned her focus back to her Facebook messages. The second, a quiet guy (whom I’d met before at previous parties) was open to my offer of conversation, but our conversing quickly became moot as the only thing he knew how to bring up was some Facebook and Twitter drama that he had witnessed among the other party-goers in the past week (as to which I refused to discuss and become involved with). Finally, my third victim offered a little hint of hope; as I approached a quiet girl cuddled against some coats and viciously sucking on a pacifier, we started chatting and actually had some glimpses of deep, meaningful conversation. However, her anxiety was not hard to spot in the way she spoke, and it was apparent that she was only able to talk to me so easily as she was as high as the ceiling on 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine, better known as MDMA (which, by the way, I absolutely am not shaming her for; this is however the reality of the social nature of her and many others). It was apparent that most of the people around me were not readily available to have a meaningful conversation, or at least not without aid.
While this realization really hit me hard in the middle of my night out, this anti-social nature is not at all exclusive to the party environment. Everywhere I go this irony is present, whether it’s when I go to school, take a walk in the park, go to a coffee shop, or even going to parties. It is completely diminishing the social goal of social events. I am guilty of this too; I can’t even remember the last time I sat at the dinner table without having my phone neatly placed beside my fork. Somehow texting and scrolling social media has gained precedence over interaction with the person next to you. The acceptance of this pseudo-socialization is widespread; one is not considered anti-social if they are active on social networking sites. The rise of social media has created the illusion of one being social, while in reality people have actually become more lonely and anti-social than ever.
While we are somehow capable of socializing behind our computer and cellphone screens, the art of talking to one another has practically disappeared. No one knows how to interact with one another. More often than not, interactions with people that I meet are nothing less than awkward. I find that a large amount of people, especially in my (young) generation have trouble interpreting and responding to bodily, audio, and social cues. Words are often jumbled or stuttered, sometimes stories or even sentences are told in a mixed up order, and the point we yearn to get across is completely warped and interpreted differently by the listener. Sometimes the speaker realizes this and finished by sending an avalanche of “Sorry!” and attempts to correct their mangled thought. Other times there is just an awkward silence because the listener has absolutely no idea what the speaker meant to say.
The rise of anxiety disorders, specifically social anxiety but also as a whole, have been the topic of concern for modern sociologists. It was found that, in the last 30 years, rates of depression and anxiety among teenagers have doubled. Younger generations are most affected by anxiety. While social anxiety is not the sole factor in this rising epidemic, it is one of the more prevalent disorders, and social media seems to be playing a role in instigating it.
The rise of the Internet and its easy accessibility has changed the way we look at socialization. My generation has been raised to accept social media as common to the point where it is often a necessity (the amount of times I’ve been told by peers that they would die if their wi-fi was shut off is incredible). For those with anxiety, the Internet offers what seems to be an easy way out. Users do not have to deal with the complications of audiovisual cues and also have the option of hiding behind fictional identities. However, because reading bodily and social cues nor showing your true self are no longer a necessity, lack of practice in these areas can actually further aggravate an already crippling social phobia when the user attempts to reintegrate themselves into real-time social interaction.
While there is no doubt that social media is certainly good for certain things (i.e. reconnecting with long lost friends/family, keeping in touch with long distance familial or cohort relationships, sharing ideas, publicity, business, ect.), excess use can be damaging for those suffering with anxiety. Those who use social networking sites excessively have the illusion of being social; for example, the majority of people that I have on Facebook (including myself) have “friends” counting into the hundreds. Yet, in most cases, the majority of them are not known well, if even known at all. The result is a large network of acquaintances. While this is not harmful in itself, the delusion that the user is more closely connected with these acquaintances is damaging; the user thinks they have a lot of friends, but in reality is not particularly close with any of them, offering the user a sort of false hope about the amount of relationships they have as well as how significant they are. It is certainly no new trend to log on to my Facebook account and find a large portion of my feed being taken up by users’ posts about being incredibly lonely. To add to the disaster, they also diminish the social skills required to make and keep new friends that they meet outside of the cyber world.
The growth of social anxiety that social media encourages will not cease at socialization; it will easily translate into other aspects of life. How does one perform a job requiring socialization (for example, a cashier) if they cannot bear interacting with people for a couple of hours? How does one find a job in the first place if they cannot bear having an interview with their employer? How can one survive without satisfying their basic social needs if they cannot successfully interact with another? Connections of all sorts, whether familial, friendly, or work-related in nature, are all essential in today’s society. The cultivation of such disorders will only lead people away from being self-sufficient productive members of society. While social media certainly has its benefits, the disadvantages are crippling the basic social skills of younger generations. If the trend continues, social skills will continue to decline, and we will not be able to satisfy our humanly social needs. If the illusion of socialization continues, we will keep encouraging cyber-interaction, discarding real-time interaction, and eventually lose all ability to connect with one another. The result will be the ultimate representation of counter-productivity; encouraging this false aid will only lead to a complete social catastrophe. The solution of using social media less is obvious, but not easy to put into effect. The regression of social networking site use is one that would require a large scale cultural shift, and with social media’s apparent benefits, society is unlikely to be willing to change. However, change starting on a micro level rather than a micro level may be effective, especially since the younger generations are the most affected. It is essential that social media first be identified and confirmed as a definite source of anxiety and depression. Luckily, studies have been done and confirmed this, even made apparent the possibility of social media addiction. The next step is to spread the word; awareness is key in fixing this problem. As awareness is spread, crucial elements must be included: why and how social media causes anxiety, how to recognize if they (or someone close to them) is experiencing anxiety causes by social networking, and what to do about it. Encouraging children to do activities that are both social and productive would be the ideal antidote. What if, instead of having a child go on Twitter or Instagram, they went to the park and played with friends? This not only helps them learn to socialize properly but allows them to perform a productive activity (getting exercise). An even better example would be enrolling a child in some sort of community activity, promoting socialization, productivity, and community awareness. This not only helps cure the problem but encourages other positive behavior. While banning social media activities can work adversely (a deprived child will want it even more), education of the benefits of other activities is the key to successfully encouraging children to do otherwise. However, encouragement to children to use social media less obsessively starts with their parents. Parents must be alerted and educated on the affects of social media as well as the rising rates of anxiety. If the connection is established, parents will hopefully see a reason to not let their child go overboard on social media. The discouragement of using social media is no easy task, especially when there are so many perceived benefits. The Internet, through social media, allows one to stay connected with people very easily, whether they are family, friends, peers, co-workers, or business associates. While there definitely are benefits, the excess use, especially in younger generations, is leading towards what could be a social epidemic. While the elimination of social networking is not required (and probably counter-productive), it is essential that we, as a society, stop being so totally reliant on it, especially for socialization. If we fail to do so, we will fail to teach future generations to meet their basic social needs, and anxiety rates will only continue to skyrocket.