Cancer Monologue
Cancer…
I'm screaming, crying and I feel like I'm dying. That's because I am.
I was diagnosed 6 months ago, and the doctors have been telling me to 'Fight' and 'Just hold on' ever since. Every time I wake up I'm in a hospital bed staring at the ceiling and wondering how I'm still alive, but as I get told constantly I am. When I was first rushed to the hospital it was because my ribs felt like they were caving in on me and made it hard to breathe, I was taking long but wheezing breaths. Eating had been a problem for days, I was never hungry or if I tried to eat it hurt, I was tired and hardly had any energy to move. My mother rushes me into a hospital after a week of this and then I was told.
"I'm so sorry to break this to you... but you have lung cancer" this is what the doctor told us as I was lying in a hospital bed for the first time. My mother broke down crying and my father just sat there shocked. Me, I was fine. My parents couldn't talk so I asked the tough questions;
"What treatment is there for me?"
"What was the cause?"
And the one that mattered the most, "How long do I have?" as soon as I said the last …show more content…
Chemo started last week, and it's been hard. Really hard. I wake up every day and my emotions are at a standstill, I feel nothing, but I feel everything. My mother smothers me and always wraps me in blankets when I get one slight chill. I am a walking time bomb, and everyone is just waiting for me to blow, and my parents look at me like I'm a different person, like I'm not their daughter, and I just know that I'm disappointing them. My hair is starting to fall out and it makes me feel like I'm losing apart of myself. I'm going to shave it. All of it off, tonight. I shave my head and let cancer take over my life, I sit there staring at myself in the mirror. My mother is going to hate me, she's going to try and get me a wig, so I will still look like the Sophia I was a month and a half
I'm screaming, crying and I feel like I'm dying. That's because I am.
I was diagnosed 6 months ago, and the doctors have been telling me to 'Fight' and 'Just hold on' ever since. Every time I wake up I'm in a hospital bed staring at the ceiling and wondering how I'm still alive, but as I get told constantly I am. When I was first rushed to the hospital it was because my ribs felt like they were caving in on me and made it hard to breathe, I was taking long but wheezing breaths. Eating had been a problem for days, I was never hungry or if I tried to eat it hurt, I was tired and hardly had any energy to move. My mother rushes me into a hospital after a week of this and then I was told.
"I'm so sorry to break this to you... but you have lung cancer" this is what the doctor told us as I was lying in a hospital bed for the first time. My mother broke down crying and my father just sat there shocked. Me, I was fine. My parents couldn't talk so I asked the tough questions;
"What treatment is there for me?"
"What was the cause?"
And the one that mattered the most, "How long do I have?" as soon as I said the last …show more content…
Chemo started last week, and it's been hard. Really hard. I wake up every day and my emotions are at a standstill, I feel nothing, but I feel everything. My mother smothers me and always wraps me in blankets when I get one slight chill. I am a walking time bomb, and everyone is just waiting for me to blow, and my parents look at me like I'm a different person, like I'm not their daughter, and I just know that I'm disappointing them. My hair is starting to fall out and it makes me feel like I'm losing apart of myself. I'm going to shave it. All of it off, tonight. I shave my head and let cancer take over my life, I sit there staring at myself in the mirror. My mother is going to hate me, she's going to try and get me a wig, so I will still look like the Sophia I was a month and a half