Preview

Deborah Tannen's Essay 'Sex, Lies, And Conversation'

Good Essays
Open Document
Open Document
619 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Deborah Tannen's Essay 'Sex, Lies, And Conversation'
The Importance of Body Language
Body language, communicating through gestures, is often the key to a meaningful conversation. These gestures that we apply in our conversations often help us to get our point across, or to show someone something that we just can’t describe in words. Sometimes we communicate this way without even realizing it. Many gestures we perform on a daily basis affect the outcome of a conversation such as a person becoming needlessly insulted, divorce, and how people perceive someone.
Many times body language differs in different locations because we developed the meanings of these gestures in completely different context. Due to this cultural difference many of the innocent body movements we make when communicating are misinterpreted, and in the worst case, taken as offensive. Suppose you are sitting in a restaurant and the waiter brings you a hamburger with a steaming hot fresh cup of tea. You
…show more content…
Several people are unaware how important body language is in communicating, and how strong of an impact it has on the people they converse with. Studies show that the leading cause of divorce is communication problems. Deborah Tannen does a wonderful job explaining this effect in her essay “Sex, Lies, and Conversation.” She tells how body language has been a major impact in divorces because wives tend to believe their husbands are ignoring them when they do not make eye contact, or appear to not be completely focused. Tannen then goes on to explain how women often tell their spouses that they aren’t listening to them. This is a prime example of miscommunication in marriage that Tannen believes is caused by how women are unaware that men often don’t have to make eye contact to hear or remember what they are being told. Therefore, just because a man does not appear to be listening does not mean that he

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    We communicate as much or maybe more through body language as we do with words. This includes facial expressions, eye contact, our stance or movement of arms, hands and legs. E.g. Effective body communication could be an open body stance, focusing your eyes on the service user or individual. Whereas crossing your arms or legs, sideway glances could block effective communication.…

    • 723 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Veterinary Office Software

    • 1013 Words
    • 5 Pages

    Body language can say a lot about a person and how they are feeling. Body language is very relevant to management and leadership and can be a good tool to understanding someone. There are some cultural differences in body language however. Something that is…

    • 1013 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Demonstrative communication is a broad term encompassing the finer points of the communication process such as voice pitch, tone, and volume. The term is also applied to the nonverbal cues in communication like body language. Most people use and read demonstrative communication cues unconsciously; however, it is the largest part of the conversation process that portrays vital information to the listener. According to livestrong.com, non-verbal (or demonstrative) communication makes up fifty-five percent of the communication process (Lee, 2011). This paper discusses the pros and cons of demonstrative communication, and how it is used to influence conversation.…

    • 895 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen’s essay on “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” highlights the different communication styles of men and women. Tannen attempts to get beyond simplistic stereotypes that, for example, women chatter constantly while men are ‘strong and silent,’ or, conversely, that women are shy and quiet and men are more articulate than their female partners. Rather, the truth behind these contradictory stereotypes is much more complex. Tannen opens her essay with an anecdote drawn from her own personal experience, from one of her lecturing engagements. A man stood up, pointed at his mute wife, and said, quite loudly, “she’s the talker in our family” (Tannen 1) The crowd laughed, and Tannen uses this as an example of how women are often more talkative…

    • 308 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In Tannens essay she qualifies that in Catherine Kohler Ressmans book, Divorce Talk, that most of the women she interviewed and only a few men actually said that lack of communication was the reason for their divorces. . In this piece of data, the argument qualifies “most” women and a “few” men; therefore, it does not say that every failed marriage is due to lack of communication. Likewise in Tannens own research the argument qualifies that women most often focused on communication being the problem in their relationships, that means that some other women focused on other reasons besides communication. The text states “ in my own research, complaints from women about their husbands most often focused not on tangible inequities such as having given up the chance for a career to accompany a husband to his, or doing far more than their share of daily life-support work like cleaning, cooking, social arrangements, and errands. Instead, they focused on communication” (313). On the other hand, in Watters essay the argument qualifies that “as many ex-girlfriends will ruefully tell you, loyalty to the tribe can wreak havoc on romantic relationships” (406). The qualifier in that example is “many of” and it qualifies that most of the ex-girlfriends, but not all, blame the failed relationship on the tribe. Watters argument also qualifies “an article in Time magazine asked whether “picky” women were “denying…

    • 796 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Many people have a hard time with communication, and can find it difficult to tell others what they think or to give them bad news. Sometimes, they can’t find the right words to express the things they want to say. Body Language however, is always honest and can always be counted on. Some people who are hard of hearing or talking can use sign languages or facial expression to communicate what they feel.…

    • 3759 Words
    • 16 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” is a brief look at how men and women communicate with one another and the cross-culture differences between their individual styles and needs for conversation. Women often say that men do not listen or do not want to talk. Tannen gives reasons why women tend to believe that men are not listening, and shows that just because men have a different approach to communicating does not mean they are not listening to what women are saying. She uses several different examples to back up her statements including early childhood differences in communication between girls and boys, the body language men use and how women tend to interpret it, and how women tend to receive information while communicating. Men and women have very different expectations when it comes to communicating with one another.…

    • 650 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    They say a picture paints a thousand words, and the same can be said for Body language. Body language definitely plays a big role in influencing communication, by observing body language alone it makes it easy for you toidentify whether somebody shows interest or puts value in what you are saying. It also allows you to make pre judgements about an individual. For instance an audience or an individual can perceive a speaker/someone as arrogant based on the body language he makes and not the content. Making body language a priority for effective communication.…

    • 1622 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Best Essays

    Pease, A., Pease, B. (2004) The Definitive Book Of Body Language 1st edition London:Orion Publishing…

    • 3392 Words
    • 14 Pages
    Best Essays
  • Good Essays

    Wonder Woman hated men when she first set off to the world from her home, Themyscira, but later understood that she was wrong in her initial assessment of men because she simply didn’t understand men. In Deborah Tannen’s essay, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation”, the often misunderstood forms of communication between men and women are explored. Gloria Steinem, American feminist who is a nationally recognized leader of the women’s liberation movement in the 1960’s and 1970’s, who expressed how she felt Wonder Woman is an exemplary model of what a feminist is. I believe Steinem would agree with many of Tannen’s views because they are rational, based on research and her essay is meant to bring the two genders to better understand one another.…

    • 610 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Killaq Enuaraq-Strauss is constantly using body language throughout her video response to Ellen DeGeneres’s statement that seal hunting is cruel and inhumane. Enuaraq-Strauss uses her hands, eyes, mouth, and head to communicate with those who are watching her video. Body language is the movement or position of the body that express a person’s thoughts or feelings. The majority of people use body language to communicate with one another; body language is used in everyday social interactions, including Killaq Enuaraq-Strauss’s video response http://www.businessinsider.com/seal-hunters-ellen-degeneres-selfie-2014-4 to Ellen DeGeneres’s claim that seal hunting is inhumane. Enuaraq-Strauss throughout the entire video is defending Inuit people,…

    • 1016 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Body language can be very efficient. It is use in personal conversation and in business environment. For example a lot of company use they front secretary to spy on candidate that come to job interviewers by watching they body language. A strong handshake can determine someone’s abilities and how confident they are about themselves. Throughout an interview the interviewer will be watching for eye contact because the candidate body language will portray his level of confidence. By just watching someone interacts with others one can come up with the conclusion if that person is friendly or not. How people present themselves is very important because, like they say action speak louder than word. Positive body language can make a big difference on the way other view someone. While listen to a speech body language make a person seen interesting or not paying attentions.…

    • 361 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    The use of body language can be subtle or more demonstrative this would depend on situation that is going on. The person you are communicating with as well as your own style. An effective use of body language, as with other components of communication can help one understand the message you are trying to send. Our…

    • 724 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    The problems in here, they do not want to talk each other to explain what they really expect it to be. Whenever the men going home rather they just go to sleep or no want to talk because even when they try to argue, the women will talk about her topic of view if the men show his new topic, the women will get mad at the men. As an example how do you think when a husband and a wife slept in the separate bedroom and slipped into separate life, here I know for sure that the men just go home to take a nap after a busy day in work and the women will feel betrayed, hurt and angry because their husband does not want to talk, to share and to rebuild a relationship with their wife. But the women did not know when they are quiet is that time he is trying to concentrate on what she was saying. The author was trying to experiment about listen to body languages and the result is the women make more listener-noise and the men were being trying to experiment about listen to body language and the result is the women perceive such responses as belittling and…

    • 566 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    There is a large problem when it comes to communication between men and women, whether it is between children, teenagers, or adults; because of a cross gender society. Once both sides understand this "cross-culture communication" problem, so that no gender is blamed, improvement will naturally occur. Deborah Tannen, is an award winning writer and a best selling author for her eccentric essays based on differences of male and female conversations. In the essay, "Sex, Lies and Conversation" she writes on the many distinctions of the style of conversations on both men and women.…

    • 853 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays