Easter Break Monologue

1:41 AM on my Macbook’s clock. 6 days into Easter Break. 10 days left. I am currently sitting on my desk, with a few drops left of my Hibiscus Tea. Also, pretty much the 7th or 8th time I’ve been high this past week. All I can say is I got too much time on my hands since my friends aren’t in town, nor is there any activity pending to do on my so called life (except for un-neglecting this blog). Getting high gives me the opportunity to explore many thoughts, feelings, dreams, disappointments, and so much more. Don’t get me wrong, I can absolutely fulfill these purposes without the influence of the drug. But there is a little extra special thing about doing them while high. Maybe I haven’t even tried to do it the healthy way, because let’s face
Because let’s face it, it is a bit of endless misery we put on ourselves everyday. Some people just aren’t about that lifestyle, or maybe they’re just plainly shallow and don’t give it much thought, or maybe there’s quite a few satisfied folks out there. Back to me, to what I know. This girl, she doesn’t exist in my life anymore. Well, not in my life anymore. She and I have parted ways for a long time now, with a few nuances of ‘present’ interaction within our lives. This girl was the first, and to this day, the only one I have ever fallen head over heels for. That type you were never able to get off your head on the ‘good’ phase of the few months, a beautiful soul you have completely devoted yourself for the time present, a womanhood these type of girls exude. Unfortunately, these girls are the most sought-after. Let’s face it, realistically she’s not even close to being one of the gorgeous girls. But all of the things above overrule the main thing us guys notice: looks. This type of girl pretty much has got it all, and has many guys at her feet. Waiting to be noticed by her, waiting for ‘the honour’ of being chosen. Careful though, self-esteem will be this girl’s Achilles heel. She’s gonna love how you always make her feel better about herself. But at the same time, this will make her settle for less. For who she thinks will keep things up in her life (only for a
I girl like that could’ve taken the leap of encouraging this boy a bit more. Instead, she chose to take on the antiquated idea that a guy has got to do all the work. A girl who found a safe haven with me, but was capable of finding it with others, at the same time, with other men. That thought, once it gets to you, and it’s confirmed; is the ending. To know you’re not the only one, and I am quoting Sam Smith (who must’ve quoted this from general words of wisdom of generations from the inhabitants of planet earth). That feeling, my friends, is the one that ends a relationship, or at least the basic foundations of a fledgling one. You’re not the only one because a third party is involved. It might exist on physical grounds (another man, woman, person); or it can just be a conglomerate of thoughts. But these entities are the ones that finish the deed. And the worst thing to know, is that they are the consequences of the actions you both are responsible