Food Desert Research Paper
Cory Knight WR 122 Essay Two (Rough Draft)
Dear Cory, (first off I think I know you from somewhere)
I’m going to include my comments in here in red so that you see where they correspond in the paper itself.
A Food Desert’s Impact on Health
Food deserts are defined as areas which have little to no access to traditional supermarkets with a wide variety of fresh and nutritious foods. (In my opinion this is a little odd beginning. Starting a paper with a definition doesn’t draw the reader in.) Frequently, the deserts exist in outlying (but urban) areas which have a high population of low-income and elderly residents, many of whom are without regular public transit. Due to the lack of nutritious food options, and the …show more content…
Seeing the profit potential in the flow out of the city centers, supermarkets followed suit. Many parts of the country are now left with a great deal of convenience shops and liquor stores, but few grocers who carry enough variety to enable their customers to have a balanced diet. And you are what you eat. (I really like this saying. Not only are we what we eat, but we are what we do. Food and weight are important topics for myself. We want to feed our children good food and give them access to a variety of cuisines.) In her 2007 study Examining the Impact of Food Deserts on Public Health in Detroit, Mari Gallagher points out that the residents of the Motor City who have significantly fewer options for their grocery needs lose 11 years of life per 100 people as compared to those who simply have easy access to a grocer who can supply them with fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products. She also explains in the study that a whopping 56% of food stamp purchases were made at convenience stores, many of which only sell prepackaged food, which is notorious for containing the high amounts of salt, fat, and sugar that cause and exacerbate the aforementioned health problems.(you did a great job here putting out viable information for the reader and showing them what you have professionals to back up your …show more content…
Unfortunately, the solution is not simple. As generations of children grow up eating what fast food and convenience products are available to them, the cycle becomes more and more difficult to break. Jason Gilliand, director of The University of Western Ontario’s Urban Development program, shares a few of the following suggestions: farmers markets that travel to different neighborhoods daily, support from cities to improve housing, schools and public transit in blighted areas. Also, to offer tax incentive to grocers who move into the neighborhoods. All great suggestions, I would add increased police protection, as many of the food desert impacted areas tend to suffer from high crime.(You might want to be careful using words such as As,also,and but. I don’t believe that those words are
Dear Cory, (first off I think I know you from somewhere)
I’m going to include my comments in here in red so that you see where they correspond in the paper itself.
A Food Desert’s Impact on Health
Food deserts are defined as areas which have little to no access to traditional supermarkets with a wide variety of fresh and nutritious foods. (In my opinion this is a little odd beginning. Starting a paper with a definition doesn’t draw the reader in.) Frequently, the deserts exist in outlying (but urban) areas which have a high population of low-income and elderly residents, many of whom are without regular public transit. Due to the lack of nutritious food options, and the …show more content…
Seeing the profit potential in the flow out of the city centers, supermarkets followed suit. Many parts of the country are now left with a great deal of convenience shops and liquor stores, but few grocers who carry enough variety to enable their customers to have a balanced diet. And you are what you eat. (I really like this saying. Not only are we what we eat, but we are what we do. Food and weight are important topics for myself. We want to feed our children good food and give them access to a variety of cuisines.) In her 2007 study Examining the Impact of Food Deserts on Public Health in Detroit, Mari Gallagher points out that the residents of the Motor City who have significantly fewer options for their grocery needs lose 11 years of life per 100 people as compared to those who simply have easy access to a grocer who can supply them with fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products. She also explains in the study that a whopping 56% of food stamp purchases were made at convenience stores, many of which only sell prepackaged food, which is notorious for containing the high amounts of salt, fat, and sugar that cause and exacerbate the aforementioned health problems.(you did a great job here putting out viable information for the reader and showing them what you have professionals to back up your …show more content…
Unfortunately, the solution is not simple. As generations of children grow up eating what fast food and convenience products are available to them, the cycle becomes more and more difficult to break. Jason Gilliand, director of The University of Western Ontario’s Urban Development program, shares a few of the following suggestions: farmers markets that travel to different neighborhoods daily, support from cities to improve housing, schools and public transit in blighted areas. Also, to offer tax incentive to grocers who move into the neighborhoods. All great suggestions, I would add increased police protection, as many of the food desert impacted areas tend to suffer from high crime.(You might want to be careful using words such as As,also,and but. I don’t believe that those words are