Fragmented Communication

You Can Read My Mind
COM 200

October 3, 2011

You Can Read My Mind

Despite the fact that I sometimes only tell you part of what I mean. You are supposed to understand me. I assume since we are close, you know the inside me and will automatically understand what I mean, even when I fragment my sentences.
“The fact that we have been communicating all of our lives does not mean that we do it well. Communication is complex; it requires a number of skills and both ongoing learning and practice to improve our skills. Misunderstandings occur frequently, and they can cause problems in relationships”. (Sole, 2011) When the formalities of getting to know acquaintances turn into friends the feeling that you know their character and intimate side seems to let assumption’s grow about what you think you know about them verses what you really know. I would even go so far as to say that your listening to them changes as well. "People commonly believe that they communicate better with close friends than with strangers. That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate, a phenomenon we term the 'closeness-communication bias, '" study co-author Boaz Keysar, a professor in psychology at the University of Chicago, said in a university news release. (Anonymous, 2011) If this is correct, I can see what happens with fragmented communication between friends, family, and spouses that can make matters worse.
The incomplete thoughts between Kim and Pat from out textbook are a classic example of fragmented communication. Kim only said she did not like bread that has seeds; seeds in, or on bread she did not say, therefore Pat assumed Kim did not like bread with seeds on top of it. This is not really a matter of who is right or wrong, only an absence of clarifications of both people, which could have been, resolved when the misunderstanding first happened. This could have never even been a misunderstanding if proper communication had taken place.
I am reminded of a time when I was walking home from school with my girlfriend, we talked about our day, our friends, our families, and laughed allot as we usually did on our walks home from school. My girlfriend lived just across the alley from me so you could see each other’s house from the backsides. We had been friends for several years and dated for several more years. One day after we had gotten home, before I left her I said, “I’ll call you later” she said, “okay talk to you later”
In my home it was schoolwork first, suppertime, chores, and bed. No phone calls after 9:00PM. I did not get everything done and my girlfriend called before 9:00 PM so I did not call. The fact that I did not call caused such hurt feelings that she broke up with me. I had assumed she would have known that it had gotten too late for me to call and she never said what time I needed to call her, but she insisted I could have made a quick call to let her know that I was running late and would not be able to talk that night.
It was quite a while before she forgave me and reconciled. My lesson in this was to be sure I finished my sentences and to be sure, I am understood, although things will sometimes happen anyway. I ask questions when I need more information than a vague fragmented statement too. Even though you are close to someone, listening is important, just as it is when meeting someone new or an acquaintance. There are no mind readers therefore; no meaning comes from fragmented Communication.

References
Anonymous. (2011, January). In U.S. News & World Report. Washington (Eds.), Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication. Retrieved from http:/ / health.usnews.com/ health-news/ family-health/ brain-and-behavior/ articles/ 2011/ 01/ 24/ close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor-communication
Sole, Kathy. (2011). Making Connections Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Retrieved from https:/ / content.ashford.edu/ books/ AUCOM200.11.1/ sections/ sec1.1

References: Anonymous. (2011, January). In U.S. News & World Report. Washington (Eds.), Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication. Retrieved from http:/​/​health.usnews.com/​health-news/​family-health/​brain-and-behavior/​articles/​2011/​01/​24/​close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor-communication Sole, Kathy. (2011). Making Connections Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Retrieved from https:/​/​content.ashford.edu/​books/​AUCOM200.11.1/​sections/​sec1.1