Hate Relationship

If you had to choose between your friends and families, which would you pick? I have a love hate relationship with my family. I have a tendency to mess up anything I do. Or maybe they are too much of perfectionist that it seems like I do everything thing wrong. The entire day could be fine but later I could get yelled at for the simplest reasons. For example, I got in trouble for falling down. I was really happy this one day. I was able to hang out with my best friend and it was the first time I got to see some of my old friends. The school day had gone by really well. COlor guard practice was really fun. When I was about go to sleep. I got a notification, my dad had saw my lock screen. The lock screen had been a picture of my best friend,
my dad was furious Then he gave me a lecture about the difference between friends and family. He kept saying “Does your friends pay for you to eat, cloth, and everything else you need?” or “Who do care for more your friends or your family?”. He got mad and I guess he wasn’t thinking. But he also told me how my parents got divorce. About how my mom cared more for her friends and spent more money on them than the family. Which eventually lead to losing our house and the divorce. Ten years later she never showed up or was ever part of my life. She didn’t fight for visitation. It at that time broke my heart to compare me to someone who had shown nothing but tears in my life. He said I am acting like the reason they got divorce. At that point I started crying, I didn’t want to be part of this family and I wanted to run away. But that is not an option and all you have to do is sit still and smile like you don’t have a care in the world.