How Can I Severe Social Anxiety?

One of my greatest challenges as I trekked through my prepubescent years, was dealing with the fact that I will always be different from my peers. When I was told that I had severe social anxiety disorder, I thought my life was over. I had always dreamed to grace the stage with my confidence yet I had none. I was shattered that I couldn’t interact with other people like everyone could or that I couldn’t be a great performer one day because I would be too afraid to even step on stage. Devastated is an understatement for how I felt.

One of my most memorable moments was when I went into my English teachers classroom during lunch for a Poetry Club that I had started at my school. We were the only ones in the room since we didn’t really advertise much. She asked me to share one of the poems I had written to start off the club; reaching into my backpack with trembling hand, I muttered to myself that I could do it. I let out a shaky breath as I read to her a very personal poem about my lack of confidence. I was surprised to see my teacher smiling at me with a toothy grin when I finished, telling me that my confidence soars whenever I read aloud. I couldn't handle my tears, as I thought about all the years I went afraid to even test the waters of betraying my panic attacks that
This would be my first ever public performance but I wanted to give myself my best chance at happiness. I walked into the chorus room with quivering hands and a terrible monologue choice ready to prove myself, that I could do this. After I was placed into the ensemble, I dreaded for opening night. This was an unfamiliar experience for me and I had no idea how I would react. After multiple panic attacks and threats of quitting the show entirely I looked back at it and realized I had never been truly happier. I was so blinded by my disorder I didn't realize all the friends I had made and how happy performing made