Interpersonal Communication Case Study
Letter of Advice to Nicolas Thomas and Kelsey Blanc
Kelsia Blanchard
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Lindsey Hallead
March25, 2013
Letter of Advice to Nicolas and Kelsey
Dear Nicholas and Kelsey
Kelsia Blanchard
COM200: Interpersonal Communications
Instructor Lindsey Hallead
March 25, 2013
Dear Nicholas and Kelsey,
I would like to start by saying congratulations on the engagement. Marriage is an important step; a commitment shared between two people, whom love one another. When preparing for marriage, you and your partner must have good interpersonal communication, first. Having good interpersonal communication allow you, both, to interact better with one another and improve your listening skills. I am …show more content…
excited that you, two, have decided to get advice before taking the next step in your life. The advice presented to you will help you, Nicolas and Kelsey, have a healthy marriage. There are five steps that will help you (1) improve your communication toward one another and become better listeners, which will allow you two to understand one another, (2) become aware of your partner’s emotional state and needs, (3) know what to say and how to say it without upsetting one another or making the situation worst, and (4) become comfortable with your partner to express self-disclosure, and (5) become familiar with your partner’s culture, if you two share a different one.
Body Paragraph #1- Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening.
Everyone wants to be heard, but some never like to listen. Nicholas and Kelsey, you two, must be able to listen as the other speaks, and vice versa. You must never ignore one another. Listen as the other speaks and reply once it is your turn. Never interrupt the one that is speaking. This would cause a problem, as if you did not care about your partner’s conversation. “What does it take to have a happy marriage? Film Director Tracie Donahue says, “Being good friends is important, having realistic expectations of marriage is key, and learning skills to communicate through Marriage Education is imperative,” (PR Newswire, 2009). Communication is the key to having a healthy marriage. When communicating with one another, it is important that you are focused and listening while the other speaks. Do not be afraid to ask questions if something is not clear to you. Adair identified effective listening is a process that requires six distinct components: (1) motivating yourself to listen, (2) clearly hearing the message, (3) paying attention to the message, (4) correctly interpreting the message, (5) evaluating the message, and (6) remembering and responding appropriately (as cited in Sole, 2011, sec 7.3). It is necessary to communicate with one another on a daily basis, to stay connected; not communicating with one another on a daily basis can cause tension to your relationship.
Body Paragraph #2- Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships
To have a healthy marriage, you must be able to understand your partner and what one another is feeling.
Do not feel ashamed, when expressing your emotions, doing this allows your partner to understand you or what is troubling you. “Your capacity to understand, communicate, and manage emotions and feelings, as well as your ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others, indicate your level of emotional intelligence,” (Sole, 2011, 9.2). If your partner is feeling down, ask them what is bothering them. Ask him/her is there anything you can do to make it better. Do not be afraid to reach out to your partner. He/she may need a hug or need you, and may just be waiting on you to ask them what is wrong. Asking your partner questions, about their feelings, shows that you care and are interested in what is going on. I can related to this, because I sometimes, use to feel like that. There are days when I was silent …show more content…
and did not know how to express myself. My partner seems to know when I get like this and begins to talk to me. She knows me and can tell when something is bothering me. When she talks to me, it allows me to open up and express whatever it is that is on my mind. I think it was, because I was shy and did not want to open up, so quickly. Once I opened up, we became closer and our relationship grew stronger. Make sure you really get familiar with one another’s emotional level. Once you know your and your partner’s emotional level, the relationship will become much stronger.
Body Paragraph #3- Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception
When communicating with one another, make sure that you use appropriate words, because harsh words change you and/or your partner attitude towards one another.
When you say something negative to someone, you can expect a negative response. Say positive things, this will lead to a positive response. You, Nicolas and Kelsey, make sure that you are focused on one another when communicating, because this can cause a major problem. Make eye contact, this shows that you are in-tune with the conversation. Not paying attention while your partner is talking, can cause an unexpected behavior, such as throwing things, yelling, and could lead to fighting. Try to avoid using hand gestures when you are upset, for this is not avoided, the other person may think that you are threatening them. I would suggest, if there is a time when you two are in a heated argument, walk away to calm down and have the conversation later. This will protect the both of you from saying things that you will regret later. When talking about the issue that caused the argument, do not forget to listen as the other speaks. If you have a question or comment, it would be a good thing to politely ask the person who is speaking to let you say something. I would, also, suggest if they continue to talk, write down whatever it is you were going to say so you can mention it when it is your turn. This will allow you be address what you wanted to say, but could not at that time. If you want a healthy marriage,
paying attention would be number one on the to-do list.
Body Paragraph #4- Evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships
Self-disclosure is important for maintaining a healthy marriage. Self-disclosure is sharing information about yourself to others. Although you have used this technique when you met, it will be helpful to continue using it throughout your relationship. We all use self-disclosure as a way informing the person, we care about and trust the most, of experiences that we have been through or going through. In some cases, the person that we sharing the information with can relate to it. Although you, Nicolas and Kelsey, are engaged, it is always good to use self-disclosure. There are several types of disclosures that can be used, but because you two are engaged, the appropriate level of self-disclosure for you to use would be the reciprocal. In using reciprocal disclosure, Nicolas and Kelsey, you are disclosing the same amount of information about yourselves. Nicolas you do not want to disclose yourself to Kelsey and not get the amount of disclosure from her, or vice versa. By doing this, it helps you both to become aware of things that you did not recognize: feelings, thoughts, and issues. Self-disclosure helps us to know who we are, what impressions we make on people, and how people see us. Although self-disclosure has its negative sides, the positive side lets you relieve some of the stressful things that you been wanting to get off your mind. Do not be afraid to use self-disclosure in your relationship. You can never learn too much about your partner, no matter how long you have been together.
Body Paragraph #5- Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications
When it comes to gender and culture, the impact on interpersonal communication changes every day. Although, I am not sure if you share the same cultural background, it is best that you learn one another culture, if is different. Certain cultures did not agree with certain things. When learning the culture, you learn your partner’s beliefs and traditions. This helps you learn what things are appropriate and what are not appropriate when dealing with that culture. Some cultures feel it is not woman-like for a woman to work while the man stays home. “Gendered Lives is a timely book, appearing when gender roles on campus are conflicted and often controversial—witness recent debates across North American campuses concerning date rape, sexual correctness, and gender equality; and the increase in courses and textbooks addressing issues of gender, feminism, masculinity, and gay and lesbian culture. It is a good rejoinder to those young women who says, “I’m not a feminist, but…” and should be enjoyed equally by their male counterparts,” (Wood, 1995). I suggest after learning about one another’s culture, sit down and talk about different things that your culture represents and get comfortable with it. If you two, do not agree with something that has been explained, than you to need to decide if you two should still stay with one another or do you need to let this relationship end. Be honest with how you feel about the situation. If you do not say how you feel about the situation, chances are you will be miserable with the outcome. It is best express how you feel, because if you keep quiet, your partner will not know, you will be miserable, and your marriage will be in jeopardy. Once you have cultural understanding, your relationship blossom like flowers.
Concluding Paragraph
The advice presented to you will help you, Nicolas and Kelsey, have a healthy marriage. There are five steps that will help you (1) improve your communication toward one another and become better listeners, which will allow you two to understand one another, (2) become aware of your partner’s emotional state and needs, (3) know what to say and how to say it without upsetting one another or making the situation worst, and (4) become comfortable with your partner to express self-disclosure, and (5) become familiar with your partner’s culture, if you two share a different one. Communication is the key to having a successful relationship and a healthy marriage. I hope you take these steps into consideration, so that your marriage be and stay healthy. I appreciate you, Nicolas and Kelsey, for allowing me to share this information with you. May your future, together, be filled with love, honesty, and loyalty.
Best Wishes,
Kelsia Blanchard
References
KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY: Family studies professor offer tips on building healthy marriages. (1997, Dec 18). M2 Presswire, pp. 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.proxy-library.ashford.edu/docview/446311121?accountid-32521
The “Secrets to Love” Documentary is Out, Says California Healthy Marriages Coalition. (2009, Feb 03). PR Newswire. Retrieved from http://sarch.proquest.com/docview/450566087?accountid=32521
Sole, K. ((2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
Wood, J. (1995). Gendered lives: communication, gender, & culture. Canadian Journal of Communication. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.proxy-library.ashford.edu/docview/2195607437
Kelsia Blanchard
COM200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Lindsey Hallead
March25, 2013
Letter of Advice to Nicolas and Kelsey
Dear Nicholas and Kelsey
Kelsia Blanchard
COM200: Interpersonal Communications
Instructor Lindsey Hallead
March 25, 2013
Dear Nicholas and Kelsey,
I would like to start by saying congratulations on the engagement. Marriage is an important step; a commitment shared between two people, whom love one another. When preparing for marriage, you and your partner must have good interpersonal communication, first. Having good interpersonal communication allow you, both, to interact better with one another and improve your listening skills. I am …show more content…
excited that you, two, have decided to get advice before taking the next step in your life. The advice presented to you will help you, Nicolas and Kelsey, have a healthy marriage. There are five steps that will help you (1) improve your communication toward one another and become better listeners, which will allow you two to understand one another, (2) become aware of your partner’s emotional state and needs, (3) know what to say and how to say it without upsetting one another or making the situation worst, and (4) become comfortable with your partner to express self-disclosure, and (5) become familiar with your partner’s culture, if you two share a different one.
Body Paragraph #1- Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening.
Everyone wants to be heard, but some never like to listen. Nicholas and Kelsey, you two, must be able to listen as the other speaks, and vice versa. You must never ignore one another. Listen as the other speaks and reply once it is your turn. Never interrupt the one that is speaking. This would cause a problem, as if you did not care about your partner’s conversation. “What does it take to have a happy marriage? Film Director Tracie Donahue says, “Being good friends is important, having realistic expectations of marriage is key, and learning skills to communicate through Marriage Education is imperative,” (PR Newswire, 2009). Communication is the key to having a healthy marriage. When communicating with one another, it is important that you are focused and listening while the other speaks. Do not be afraid to ask questions if something is not clear to you. Adair identified effective listening is a process that requires six distinct components: (1) motivating yourself to listen, (2) clearly hearing the message, (3) paying attention to the message, (4) correctly interpreting the message, (5) evaluating the message, and (6) remembering and responding appropriately (as cited in Sole, 2011, sec 7.3). It is necessary to communicate with one another on a daily basis, to stay connected; not communicating with one another on a daily basis can cause tension to your relationship.
Body Paragraph #2- Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships
To have a healthy marriage, you must be able to understand your partner and what one another is feeling.
Do not feel ashamed, when expressing your emotions, doing this allows your partner to understand you or what is troubling you. “Your capacity to understand, communicate, and manage emotions and feelings, as well as your ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others, indicate your level of emotional intelligence,” (Sole, 2011, 9.2). If your partner is feeling down, ask them what is bothering them. Ask him/her is there anything you can do to make it better. Do not be afraid to reach out to your partner. He/she may need a hug or need you, and may just be waiting on you to ask them what is wrong. Asking your partner questions, about their feelings, shows that you care and are interested in what is going on. I can related to this, because I sometimes, use to feel like that. There are days when I was silent …show more content…
and did not know how to express myself. My partner seems to know when I get like this and begins to talk to me. She knows me and can tell when something is bothering me. When she talks to me, it allows me to open up and express whatever it is that is on my mind. I think it was, because I was shy and did not want to open up, so quickly. Once I opened up, we became closer and our relationship grew stronger. Make sure you really get familiar with one another’s emotional level. Once you know your and your partner’s emotional level, the relationship will become much stronger.
Body Paragraph #3- Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception
When communicating with one another, make sure that you use appropriate words, because harsh words change you and/or your partner attitude towards one another.
When you say something negative to someone, you can expect a negative response. Say positive things, this will lead to a positive response. You, Nicolas and Kelsey, make sure that you are focused on one another when communicating, because this can cause a major problem. Make eye contact, this shows that you are in-tune with the conversation. Not paying attention while your partner is talking, can cause an unexpected behavior, such as throwing things, yelling, and could lead to fighting. Try to avoid using hand gestures when you are upset, for this is not avoided, the other person may think that you are threatening them. I would suggest, if there is a time when you two are in a heated argument, walk away to calm down and have the conversation later. This will protect the both of you from saying things that you will regret later. When talking about the issue that caused the argument, do not forget to listen as the other speaks. If you have a question or comment, it would be a good thing to politely ask the person who is speaking to let you say something. I would, also, suggest if they continue to talk, write down whatever it is you were going to say so you can mention it when it is your turn. This will allow you be address what you wanted to say, but could not at that time. If you want a healthy marriage,
paying attention would be number one on the to-do list.
Body Paragraph #4- Evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships
Self-disclosure is important for maintaining a healthy marriage. Self-disclosure is sharing information about yourself to others. Although you have used this technique when you met, it will be helpful to continue using it throughout your relationship. We all use self-disclosure as a way informing the person, we care about and trust the most, of experiences that we have been through or going through. In some cases, the person that we sharing the information with can relate to it. Although you, Nicolas and Kelsey, are engaged, it is always good to use self-disclosure. There are several types of disclosures that can be used, but because you two are engaged, the appropriate level of self-disclosure for you to use would be the reciprocal. In using reciprocal disclosure, Nicolas and Kelsey, you are disclosing the same amount of information about yourselves. Nicolas you do not want to disclose yourself to Kelsey and not get the amount of disclosure from her, or vice versa. By doing this, it helps you both to become aware of things that you did not recognize: feelings, thoughts, and issues. Self-disclosure helps us to know who we are, what impressions we make on people, and how people see us. Although self-disclosure has its negative sides, the positive side lets you relieve some of the stressful things that you been wanting to get off your mind. Do not be afraid to use self-disclosure in your relationship. You can never learn too much about your partner, no matter how long you have been together.
Body Paragraph #5- Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications
When it comes to gender and culture, the impact on interpersonal communication changes every day. Although, I am not sure if you share the same cultural background, it is best that you learn one another culture, if is different. Certain cultures did not agree with certain things. When learning the culture, you learn your partner’s beliefs and traditions. This helps you learn what things are appropriate and what are not appropriate when dealing with that culture. Some cultures feel it is not woman-like for a woman to work while the man stays home. “Gendered Lives is a timely book, appearing when gender roles on campus are conflicted and often controversial—witness recent debates across North American campuses concerning date rape, sexual correctness, and gender equality; and the increase in courses and textbooks addressing issues of gender, feminism, masculinity, and gay and lesbian culture. It is a good rejoinder to those young women who says, “I’m not a feminist, but…” and should be enjoyed equally by their male counterparts,” (Wood, 1995). I suggest after learning about one another’s culture, sit down and talk about different things that your culture represents and get comfortable with it. If you two, do not agree with something that has been explained, than you to need to decide if you two should still stay with one another or do you need to let this relationship end. Be honest with how you feel about the situation. If you do not say how you feel about the situation, chances are you will be miserable with the outcome. It is best express how you feel, because if you keep quiet, your partner will not know, you will be miserable, and your marriage will be in jeopardy. Once you have cultural understanding, your relationship blossom like flowers.
Concluding Paragraph
The advice presented to you will help you, Nicolas and Kelsey, have a healthy marriage. There are five steps that will help you (1) improve your communication toward one another and become better listeners, which will allow you two to understand one another, (2) become aware of your partner’s emotional state and needs, (3) know what to say and how to say it without upsetting one another or making the situation worst, and (4) become comfortable with your partner to express self-disclosure, and (5) become familiar with your partner’s culture, if you two share a different one. Communication is the key to having a successful relationship and a healthy marriage. I hope you take these steps into consideration, so that your marriage be and stay healthy. I appreciate you, Nicolas and Kelsey, for allowing me to share this information with you. May your future, together, be filled with love, honesty, and loyalty.
Best Wishes,
Kelsia Blanchard
References
KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY: Family studies professor offer tips on building healthy marriages. (1997, Dec 18). M2 Presswire, pp. 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.proxy-library.ashford.edu/docview/446311121?accountid-32521
The “Secrets to Love” Documentary is Out, Says California Healthy Marriages Coalition. (2009, Feb 03). PR Newswire. Retrieved from http://sarch.proquest.com/docview/450566087?accountid=32521
Sole, K. ((2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
Wood, J. (1995). Gendered lives: communication, gender, & culture. Canadian Journal of Communication. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.proxy-library.ashford.edu/docview/2195607437