Piggy Monologue

The cold winter’s wind snaps at my face as I walk briskly down the street. The fog makes it impossible to see more than 5 metres in front of me. I look up just in time to see two figures appear out of the fog coming towards me. Running towards me. My feet are frozen to the ground. I can’t move. The figures get closer and I can make out their faces. “Piggy?”
“Simon?”
What are they doing here? Before I have time to react Piggy charges into me, forcing me to the ground and jumps on top of me. Simon pulls out a knife. “Please Simon, no!”, I scream.

I wake up just before the knife enters my body. Another nightmare. It has been 5 years now, you would think that they would have stopped. Everything I do now is shadowed by memories of the island. Memories of the mistakes I made. Memories of the lives that they cost. I have been regretting every decision I made on that island ever since we were saved. I think back to the days I was chief. How could I have done those things? How did I find pleasure in others’ suffering? How could I have brought myself to let the people I led murder two innocent children? Then again we were just kids. We weren’t meant to end up there, and we certainly weren’t prepared. All these thoughts get dredged up in my head every time I get a flashback or a nightmare. I need to clear my head.
I slow as I walk past ‘that guy’ on fifth street, but I manage to resist the temptation. I have been clean for 2 years now. One nightmare isn’t going to change that. Instead, I decide to pop into my favourite Mexican place to grab a quesadilla. As I walk back to my apartment with the quesadilla in my hand I walk past ‘that guy’ again. This time I stop without realising. My legs are pulling me towards him, I’m helpless, caught in the grasp of temptation. I manage to muster up enough will-power to pull myself away. I stride purposefully back to my apartment without looking