Problems and Issues
Problems and Issues
Shawn L. Porter
HUM/111
June 09, 2013
John Quesnel
Problems and Issues
I have been considering to end my relationship for months now because of what I considered to be multiple problems. After reading chapters 7 and 8 of our text I have come to realize that there are problems and issues in this relationship. Problems that we can solve if we take the appropriate actions, and issues that can be resolved if we can come to a mutual agreement. I now see that our problem is that we do not express how we feel about situations in fear that the other may not agree or become angry. Our issues are our different opinions of how we treat and raise our children. We have children from previous relationships but none together.
Our text tells us to “ask whether the matter involved tends to arouse feelings or divide people” (Ruggiero, 2010) as a way to distinguish between problems and issues. After determining what is the problem and what is the issue I would be better able to decide on a way to express them. Before I can begin to express our problem or issue I have to first set aside all preassumptions and stubborness. I have to be willing to unbiasly veiw and consider his thoughts, feelings and proposals. To express our problem I have to ask questions such as: how can I change my attitude to make him feel comfortable enough to express his feelings and opinions; how can we communicate effectively with one another without arguing? To express our issues I have to ask is, does, or should questions. (Ruggiero, 2010) Is my way of disciplining my children to easy going; is his methods more effective; does the either method effect the child in a way that would cause harm? By using the guidelines suggested in our text identifying the challenge, expressing the problem or issue, and refining my expressions (Ruggiero, 2010) by recognizing what is causing me to feel the way I do about the situation will help me to determine if it is a problem or issue, writing my
Shawn L. Porter
HUM/111
June 09, 2013
John Quesnel
Problems and Issues
I have been considering to end my relationship for months now because of what I considered to be multiple problems. After reading chapters 7 and 8 of our text I have come to realize that there are problems and issues in this relationship. Problems that we can solve if we take the appropriate actions, and issues that can be resolved if we can come to a mutual agreement. I now see that our problem is that we do not express how we feel about situations in fear that the other may not agree or become angry. Our issues are our different opinions of how we treat and raise our children. We have children from previous relationships but none together.
Our text tells us to “ask whether the matter involved tends to arouse feelings or divide people” (Ruggiero, 2010) as a way to distinguish between problems and issues. After determining what is the problem and what is the issue I would be better able to decide on a way to express them. Before I can begin to express our problem or issue I have to first set aside all preassumptions and stubborness. I have to be willing to unbiasly veiw and consider his thoughts, feelings and proposals. To express our problem I have to ask questions such as: how can I change my attitude to make him feel comfortable enough to express his feelings and opinions; how can we communicate effectively with one another without arguing? To express our issues I have to ask is, does, or should questions. (Ruggiero, 2010) Is my way of disciplining my children to easy going; is his methods more effective; does the either method effect the child in a way that would cause harm? By using the guidelines suggested in our text identifying the challenge, expressing the problem or issue, and refining my expressions (Ruggiero, 2010) by recognizing what is causing me to feel the way I do about the situation will help me to determine if it is a problem or issue, writing my
References: Ruggiero, V. R. (2010). The Art of Thinking: A guide to critical and creative thought (10th ed.). New York: Pearson Longman.