Sidebern's Graduation Speech: Then And Now

Once upon a time, there was a village called Bernsville. Now, this wasn’t just any village, for in this village, a crime of epic proportions was being enacted. This crime was the terrible sin of greed, and three thousand people of Bernsville, only one special man has discovered it. This man was called Sidebern. For a few year, Sidebern only made a few noises about this dastardly deed. One day, however, for whatever reason, he decided that enough was enough and began campaigning for true change, culminating in his final speech that would finally bring change to the idyll town of Bernsville.
On the day of this speech, Sidebern, half-bald, stood upon a high podium, overlooking his grand audience of forty people. Sidebern himself was waving his hands in the air, appreciating the nice
For decades, the price of donuts and pastries have gone up nearly 1% every decade. This is unacceptable. The interest rate has grown to an outrageous 1.5%! I could not let this continue. What we will do—no, what we must do—today is reclaim the wealth we so deserve. For every cent taken from us, we will inflict upon those evil bankers and merchants a thousand-fold! From today on, we will enact a policy of war against those swindlers. We will fight them in the courts, we will fight them in the shops, and we will fight them in the streets. For them, terror shall be the order of the day. Now, we move! To me! Today, we shall end the first enemy: the merchants“
The crowd’s roar was deafening. The mass of humans spread out like locusts to the surrounding landscape, ripping pieces from buildings in an attempt to obtain whatever weapon they could. One man held in his hands a pipe ripped form a wall. Another women had picked up a brick. Together, these equality fighters bumbled over to the merchant’s guild, surprisingly, not hurting each other considering all the weapons being brandied