When relating this analysis to my own life I can see several similarities. Reflecting on the key to my understanding began with my own perception as a child. Rather than seeing my mother and father’s (or lack of) intentions. As a child, a parent is supposed to make them feel warmth and affection. In my circumstance, the lack of my father being there and when he was there is was drunk and abusive. My mother was a single mother raising two young daughters and was working all the time to provide for us the best she could. She did the best she could and we felt loved from her. But, who was otherwise occupied or neurotic herself. Obviously, I have to cope and use tools growing up being the fact my life wasn’t living in …show more content…
Being in a hostile environment when my parents were together whether I was taking sides in my parent’s disagreements or having to babysit my drunk father on the time that it was mandatory I stayed with him. With that I built my own set of coping skills, good or bad that I didn’t know have been analyzed into Horney’s theory until now. The first being the need to move towards others. These neurotic needs cause individuals to seek affirmation and acceptance from others and are often described as needy or clingy as they seek out approval and love (Cherry, 2017). I am guilty with this neurotic need too often. As a child I would cling to ever would give me any sort of special attention or gave me praise, missing out with what I was looking for from my father. I still carry on this need as an adult even though I realize it is very unhealthy. Always having the desire to be like or to please others, so that way I “fit in”. All through school I was never quote, popular. Therefore, I tend to be extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism. The second coping tool I used was the need to move away from others. These neurotic needs create hostility and antisocial behavior. These individuals are often described as cold, indifferent, and aloof (Cherry, 2017). If I have gotten my feelings hurt in the past or