What factors led to short-term initial attraction and long-term maintenance?
Initially when I met my husband I thought he was dashing and he definitely had a great personality. Being caring was another aspect that spiked the relationship. You could also sense the control and empowering attitude. I did not worry too much about this as my first husband was just the opposite and did not care. This resulted in some rough territory down the road when the new wore off. We were although, able to work through the power struggle and have been married for 16 years. I was very independent and was not used to having someone do so much for me. We had a lot in common and he was a well respected man.
What type of power is typically exercised in the relationship?
My husband tries very hard for the complimentary relationship and usually fails at it. I am always reminding him that my mother already raised me once and he has already been raised once. He tries to be controlling and I do not back down. Eventually after some effort, we slip into the interdependent relationship.
How important is attraction and power in the relationship?
I do not think we would have stayed together for very long if some sort of control or power was not exerted on his part. He was the total opposite of my ex-husband who did care at all. Initially I think that I confused this control with caring although I know he cared deeply about me. He was also aware of how my ex-husband treated me. The treatment by my ex-husband helped to fuel my independence and my current husband was not used to being with an independent. I believe now we both have a good balance of power and it has been working for some time