Absent Day Proposal

A Modest Proposal for Revising the Kwajalein Junior/Senior High School’s Absent Day Policy to Make it Logical, and Fair, and Beneficial to Students I am a student attending Kwajalein Jr./Sr. High School, and it has come to my attention that a new policy on students’ days absence has been enforced. This is because students like lethargic Lizzy who has missed 179 days of school and have used and abused the generosity of teachers’ passion to allow them to make up all the work they have missed. This makes sense; however, there are certain situations where this policy shouldn’t affect students. I want to express my issue with the school. My problem is their new proposal based on the absent day policy which states that if a student misses ten days of school he/she will fail the class. I personally think this is inarticulate and should be revised and I don’t see this proposal as beneficial to the students who need to miss ten plus school days. For instance, What if a kid broke his/her arm and needs off-island treatment? What if a kid’s family member passed? So I make this proposal, a
modest proposal. What’s the point in school if we don’t come? Am I right? Yeah, I think I am. I think we should just get the whole school together and plan a whole month of absenteeism. It ends up being a win-win situation if you look at it: students will be jubilant with not having to go to school. Teachers won’t have to do much punishing for students like Lizzy, who constantly disrupts the class with her boisterous snores, and leaves puddles of drool over the tables of hell. And the teachers won’t have to do much paper work and filing reports of the students missed work. Firstly, I propose an entire month of school off of school. Students can pre-schedule their medical treatments, injuries, and deaths of relatives. If they planned a months’ leave, they would get a “get out of jail free card” and no make-up work would be required of them. Secondly, teachers and students would get a vacation out of this. With no school in place, students would have less anxiety and stress, and with no students equals less grading for teachers which equals more sleep time for the brain; which everybody enjoys. Especially lazy-eyed Lizzy; sitting in the corner, with her tired eyes bobbing her head up and down trying to stay awake. Lastly, this is the MOST important to students, teachers, and parents; everybody passes! Although this new law has its disadvantages, it also has its advantages. It encourages students to go to school, which allows them to pass a course. This gives students confidence and provides a sense of happiness to the students’ parents. It enhances students’ social skills and mental skills. It also allows students to create new friendships. It also gives students the chance to better their health and their well-being, as well as being with their families in time of grieving. All of the absent days and “F’s” on students’ papers could be avoided if we weren’t limited on excused absent days.
It provides a lot of pressure onto students, parents, and teachers. If students fail to meet these requirements, drowsy Lizzy will continue to bob her head and tyranny unleashes. The absent day policy should be revised to include missing an entire month of school. Now I’m not saying that students should use and abuse the policy of make-up work, I’m just saying they shouldn’t be penalized if they NEED to be off-island for medical treatments or if their family member passes away. I hope that my proposal is heard and put into effect immediately, because the fate of Lethargic Lizzy’s droopy eyes, lies within the click of your pen, and you have a limited amount of time until the school goes vacant because of this ridiculous policy. Please, consider my proposal and choose
wisely.