Counselling skills are a set of tools that can be used by the Counsellor to help a client see or think in a different way. There are many different methods, theories and skills all with the same goal of helping the Client. When a Client first comes into contact with the Counsellor a verbal contract is established for the protection of the Counsellor and the Client. This contract is the first part of counselling skills, as this makes the client feel that he has come into a safe non-judgemental and confidential space. This is what I would call grounding. The next stage of the session is asking the Client “what you would like to talk about today”. The Counsellor’s job is then to listen and try and feel what the other person is feeling by putting themselves in the client’s shoes. This is called Empathy the most important tool a Counsellor has in my opinion. In my research Carl Rogers stated that the best counsellors are Empathic people.
The Counsellors role is then to listen, watch and mirror body language and use Reflection:-
Listening – This is done by listening to the client without being distracted by something else or thinking about something else. The Counsellors job is to pick up on any negative beliefs and emotional responses.
Watching and mirroring body language – Watching the client closely for any reactions, like a defensive fold of the arms, Shallow breathing, Change of behaviour during the session or Changing of skin colour. It’s important for the Counsellor to mirror the Clients body language to put them ease and this also lets the Client know that you are interested in what they are saying.
Open Questions – This is the chance to ask a question on what the Client has talked about and in turn gives the Client an opportunity to think about the situation in another way. A skilled Counsellor will ask open questions and insightful questions to gather more information.
Reflections – This