Crucial Conversations Model Essay

Figure 1: Crucial Conversations Model
Team Discussions
Work on me first
Focus attention on yourself and the role you play in communication patterns and relation-ships. “If you can’t get yourself right, you will have a hard time getting dialogue right” (Patter-son, et al.). Our behaviors influence our interactions with others. When we let our emotions sur-pass our wants, our motives become corrupt and we lose focus on the purpose of the conversa-tion. Even though others may be acting irrationally, you only have the power to change yourself. “Work on me first, us second” (Patterson, et al.) keeps free flow of meaning. It is easy to lose track of your true desires when things become heated and emotional. Go into a conversation un-derstanding the
By asking ourselves the “and” question, we force our brains to move to higher-level, more complex thinking. We typically get caught up in the content of a crucial conversation and miss the conditions because we want to defend our ego. We are too concerned about meeting our own needs that we miss how people are feeling and acting, the tone they are taking. Pay attention to both the content (the topic under discussion) of the discussion and how people are acting and feeling (what people do in response). If you can determine what people are doing or why they are holding back you can get the conversation back on track. When you are no longer adding to the free flow of meaning you are in a crucial conversation. Watch for the moment a conversation turns crucial (physical signs, emotions, behaviors), signs that people don’t feel safe (silence or violence) and your own style under stress. When faced with pressure and strong opinions, we often stop worrying about the goal of adding to the pool of meaning (healthy dialogue) and start looking for ways to win, punish, or keep the peace. When you fear that people aren’t buying into your ideas, you start pushing too hard. When you fear that you may be harmed in some