Personal Statement Prompt 1
Prompt 1
(Just an FYI, this is not my final draft! Feel free to harshly/constructively criticize my essay. Thank you!)
My parents’ expectations have always been a major influence on my five siblings and me, and my father stressed on higher education above all else. He would say, “Yog nej tsis kawm ntawv qib siab kom tau ib txoj hauj lwm zoo tshaj nej niam, ces tsis tseem yog yug nej los nyob tebchaws mekas li” (if you aren’t able to pursue a higher education to earn a better job and life than your mother and I, then there was absolutely no point of giving life to you all in America). Over the years though, I witnessed my father, a Hmong refugee who had faced the atrocities of the Vietnam War, slowly retreat from his children, as his high hopes and dreams for his sons and daughters disintegrated. == My second oldest sister embodied the perfect role model to me, and she had everything coming her way. However, at eighteen, she ran away from home and moved in to live with her boyfriend, a man just as old as my father. Dating outside of the race is taboo in the traditional Hmong culture, an as the head of the house, my father banned her from our family, leaving us devastated. Shortly thereafter, she dropped out of college and began working at a pizza parlor. My oldest brother was the first in the family to attend college. My father had the highest hope for him, being the oldest son and UC-bound student. However, he failed to complete the second year, and his failure broke my parents’ hearts. Every parent wants his or her child to surpass them in life, reason why such high expectations are set. Although forty percent have failed in my family, I will not let the chances of failing determine my future success of going to college, earning a good career, and making my parents proud. Like a fly on the wall, I have watched this unfold my siblings struggle under my father’s disapproval; my mother became a terminally depressed; my father
(Just an FYI, this is not my final draft! Feel free to harshly/constructively criticize my essay. Thank you!)
My parents’ expectations have always been a major influence on my five siblings and me, and my father stressed on higher education above all else. He would say, “Yog nej tsis kawm ntawv qib siab kom tau ib txoj hauj lwm zoo tshaj nej niam, ces tsis tseem yog yug nej los nyob tebchaws mekas li” (if you aren’t able to pursue a higher education to earn a better job and life than your mother and I, then there was absolutely no point of giving life to you all in America). Over the years though, I witnessed my father, a Hmong refugee who had faced the atrocities of the Vietnam War, slowly retreat from his children, as his high hopes and dreams for his sons and daughters disintegrated. == My second oldest sister embodied the perfect role model to me, and she had everything coming her way. However, at eighteen, she ran away from home and moved in to live with her boyfriend, a man just as old as my father. Dating outside of the race is taboo in the traditional Hmong culture, an as the head of the house, my father banned her from our family, leaving us devastated. Shortly thereafter, she dropped out of college and began working at a pizza parlor. My oldest brother was the first in the family to attend college. My father had the highest hope for him, being the oldest son and UC-bound student. However, he failed to complete the second year, and his failure broke my parents’ hearts. Every parent wants his or her child to surpass them in life, reason why such high expectations are set. Although forty percent have failed in my family, I will not let the chances of failing determine my future success of going to college, earning a good career, and making my parents proud. Like a fly on the wall, I have watched this unfold my siblings struggle under my father’s disapproval; my mother became a terminally depressed; my father