As the writer I have to make sure that my essay conveys the main point.
I also need to make sure that my essay is well developed, unified and organized. And I need to also make sure that all my sentences cohere together. I should also make sure that my topic sentence is conveying my paragraphs controlling idea. Most importantly as the write I need to make sure that my paragraphs include specific ideas and enough of them to support my topic sentence. I need to also make sure that all my sentences have unity that also supports my topic sentence. And it needs to be organized logically. Overall I need to make sure all my sentences flow smoothly and logically from one to another. I need to also check for grammar, punctuation, mechanics, spelling and word choices are used correctly.
I think all the feedback I received was very useful especially the feedback from the peer review such as the introduction did not grab her attention which is not good because if that does not catch my reader’s attention then my essay will not get read in its entirety. Also she said some of the information did not fit the main topic which means I need to go back and re edit and I can either do more research and add or subtract some of the information to make it flow better and give a clear understanding of what I am trying to get across. And I totally agree with her about adding more details or examples in the first paragraph. And some of my sentences are unclear which is definitely not what I wanted. And my instructor revised my thesis sentence which I liked because at first I think mine was long winded and she edited it so that it had everything I said in it but it was short and sweet it had everything about the education, sanitation, personal characteristics, without being a long drawn out sentence. Of course I am going to apply all of the feedback that was given to me because I feel it was very helpful and I think it will